Making Medical Appointments

I have medical appointments all over the place.  I still have to make an appointment for a mammogram (always my favorite test – not) but still, I’m pretty pleased with myself.

Today I have an eye exam to find out I’m having so much trouble seeing properly out of my glasses.  I’m on a new medication and it’s slightly possible the changes are a side effect, but it’s far more probable that my 4-year old prescription just isn’t right anymore.  Seeing far away isn’t a problem, it’s the close-up stuff (for which I’m now pulling my glasses up and bringing the small text close to my eye) and mid-range (which is where the computer work is).   I also am using drops for dry eye, but they may not be doing the trick.  We’ll see how it goes.

I also made appointments for my psychological and nutrition evaluations as part of the prep for weight loss surgery.  Both offices are sending me long questionnaires for me to complete and bring with me to the appointments.  Next Monday I’ll be at the psych eval and in early August, the nutrition one.  I’m not worried about the appointments, just how to find the places and whether I can walk the distances or should find other options.  Evaluations will be sent to the bariatric surgeon to help him assess whether I am a good candidate for the surgery and for maintaining a new lifestyle.

Guess I should bite the bullet and schedule the mammo while I’m on a role.

The Parents are Already Home

I had a wonderful visit with my parents this last week.  They arrived late due to a flight cancellation, so we ended up missing 1.5 days.  We didn’t have big sight-seeing things lined up, since we did so much on their last visit.  More of our time was spent catching up and talking about everything, having computer lessons, watching movies, and going over family genealogy (I’m the record keeper in the family).  Our biggest outing was to Mystic Seaport, which was celebrating an 1876 anniversary commemoration of the

We lived in New Jersey when I was growing up, and my mom grew up there as well.  We moved away in 1970, which is a really long time.  But Mom and Dad have stayed in touch with friends from their days there, and on this trip we visited with two of them – Phyllis from NJ (last seen 39 years ago) and JoAnn who was in K-12 with my mom (last seen 61 years ago).  It was fun to see them pick up almost as though they’d seen each other yesterday.

As for me, I always worry about managing my food when I have company.  I sometimes eat weirdo off-cycle meals, with bigger lunches than dinner, and I didn’t know how that would work with the parents here.  But it actually was fine.  I found my way to a Friday WW meeting, since the Saturday ones were cancelled because of the July 4th holiday, and that helped me reinforce eating carefully.  Which didn’t stop me from having a Friendly’s happy ending sundae when we went to Mystic on Saturday.  It was yummy but not as good as I remembered and I don’t really want another. That’s progress.

I was aware as we talked this weekend that I was probably more honest with my parents than I’d ever been about my weight and life as a fat person.  It wasn’t defensive or argument, just not hiding who I am anymore.  I told my mom when we went out to lunch and looked at eating on the patio, that I was afraid I would get stuck in the flimsy chair.  On another day, my worry that I wasn’t sure I could actually walk from the distant parking down to the dock where we’d hoped to get on a harbor cruise.  My honesty about how hard it was to find clothes that fit that I actually liked, and that I wouldn’t be wearing shorts out in public because my legs are so lumpy.

We also spent time talking about weight loss surgery.  My packet of information arrived from the surgeon’s office in response to my doctor’s referral.  I am to be assessed by a clinical nutritionist and a psychologist, and answer a long questionnaire from the surgeon.  I also picked up a copy of Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies (thanks, C, for the recommendation!) which will already be a good resource.  My parents are 100% behind me in making this choice and understand the need to lose weight before I can have the knee surgery I also need (Dad had a double-knee replacement 8 years ago so he really gets it).

When I got home from the airport after seeing the parents off, I ran around doing laundry, tidying up, changing the bed, paying bills, cuddling with Tessie.  Some of that was done through tears.  I never know when I see my parents if I will see them again.  I’m almost 55 years old and incredibly blessed to have both of them alive, active, healthy and aware.  But time marches on and I know there will come a time when I won’t have them to hold and love and support.  Now matters.  So do they.

Quick Vacation Check-in

My parents arrived at 6:30pm, a day and a half after their original schedule.  We had a nice visit in the car (they loved my new little Prius and I was shocked to find out that Dad thought I had a blue one) and a late dinner of Crockpot Salsa Chicken.  Yesterday was a lazy day with lots of visiting and a driving tour that included a stop at the Union Station, where  Dad got a dry run for today’s train trip to D.C.  Word is that he was reassured and found today easy.  Good thing, coz we could just drop him off and keep going.

Mom and I drove down to meet an old high school friend of hers that she hadn’t seen in 61 years.  They met each other in kindergarten, which kind of boggles my mind.  They reminisced and told stories and had a great time.  It was fun to watch them.

The kitty is still pretty spooked by the company, spending a lot of time under the bed or crouched in meatloaf position on the floor of the bedroom listening to voices and checking out the situation.  I hope she gets comfortable soon coz they’re dying to cuddle her and I need a pic of us together!

The Parents Have Airline Problems

Almost everything on my to-do list is done, except polishing a few silver pieces that came from Mom’s family.  Yesterday was very busy.  The Maids arrived as a team of 2 instead of 4 (people were sick) but they cleaned up a storm and everything looked and smelled fresh and beautiful.  I’d tidied everything in sight before they arrived, partly for them and mostly because my parents are coming and I want things to look uncluttered.   I might even be inspired enough to keep this up on my own for more than a week

After The Maids left, I did a run down Dixwell, ticking things off my list:  1. Get gas.  2. Carwash (which undoubtedly caused the torrential rain later).  3. Buy wine.  4. Stock up on groceries.   And after all of that, I did three loads of wash, leaving me clean towels, sheets and clothes.  Phew.

But then around 8pm, my mom called to say that the airline had cancelled their 6:30am flight and rebooked them on Sunday, putting them into Hartford at 5:45pm, almost 18 hours after their planned time.  I know they are upset and confused, but at least they weren’t stranded in an airport for days (visions of my Christmas trip delays at Newark Airport flashed through my head).  They can relax today and leave tomorrow at a humane time instead of having to wake up at4:30am.

The airline reassigned them to new flights but they don’t have seat assignments and were in a tizzy beccause online the seats showed as full.  At least I knew to tell them that seats are held back to be assigned at the airport, but I made some calls to American and confirmed some info, which I passed along, as well as the 800 number for customer support. I have it programmed into my phone and I’ll make sure Mom has it in her cell phone when she’s here (she hasn’t figured out programming in numbers yet).

So instead of having a packed morning ending with a run up to BDL to pick my parents and a full day with them tomorrow, I have today and most of tomorrow to myself.  Not what was planned but I can enjoy the very clean and tidy apartment and my kitty, who is mostly recovered from the trauma of having a team of loud people invade her little space.  Maybe I’ll throw in a trip to BJ’s which isn’t exactly a visitor’s destination, but fun for me.

I’m Still Here

Yikes, I just realized how long it’s been since I posted anything.  Honestly, it’s not you, it’s me.  And the rain.  Every day is like every other day and has been for so many weeks that we thought we spotted a big wooden Ark with a bunch of animals on it.  Every day it’s been between 65-71 degrees, with either drizzly rain or downpours.  Everywhere you look there are spots of color where umbrellas bloom instead of flowers.  The one pictured is mine.  I love it, it’s cheerful and pink, but it’s heavy.  At least that keeps it from turning inside out in the wind.

It’s been a stressful spring and summer, dealing with budget cuts and staff layoffs.  I was afraid that I would start eating over it, since I tend to be a very emotional eater and Lord knows that stress sets me off most times.  But somehow I’ve been able to hold on to my WW foodplan.  It almost feels easy and intuitive and as of last Saturday, the total is 11.6 since rejoining this spring.  Food and eating are the only things I really can control now, and holding on to that makes it easier to deal with stress and out-of-control-ness in other places.

But progress is and will be slow.  My metabolism isn’t what it used to be pre-menopause and exercising is very difficult with bone-on-bone joint pain.  I’m starting to have problems with the “good knee” (which isn’t all that good anyway).  I’m way more worried about the knees than I am about my appearance.

Which is leading me back to considering weight loss surgery, the lapband method.  I have two friends in different parts of the country who have WLS scheduled within the next few weeks.  I know others who have been successful, and others who have relapsed and regained much of their weight.  I know that some of you think that WLS is cheating and taking the easy route.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, their own path.  This may not be one that I will ultimately take, but at my request, my doctor was putting in a referral to a bariatric surgeon at the university hospital to start the process of asking the questions and see if this is a decision I really want to make.

On the plus side, the weight would come off fairly quickly, at least an initial chunk of it.  I don’t have a weight goal, I’m not looking to be skinny – I will never be skinny.  But I do want to walk with less pain and know that knee replacement surgery is in my future.  I can do that more safely and with better results over a longer time period if I am not carrying so much weight.

So, that’s what’s going on in my life.  Work, watching my weight, getting ready for my parents to come up from Texas on Saturday for an 8 day visit.

I Think I’m Not Eating Enough

I’ve been having trouble lately getting all my points in, and I gained a pound this week.  I’m not at all worried about that but I do need to analyze what I’m eating to see if there are patterns that need changing.  One factor – being unbalanced in getting in all my food groups.  Another is just not eating enough – I had almost 20 flex points left over this week and for me, that’s a sign that things are out of whack and a gain is likely.

One of the WW leaders talked with me and suggested that one way to change that up is to switch from no-fat to low-fat, or from low-fat to normal foods even while WHAT I eat remains the same.  I know that the Fage 2% tastes way better to me than the 0% and the full-fat version is out of this world.  Food with a little fat is simply more satisfying to me than the watery plain stuff.  It’s also real food with less processing and fewer chemicals, and that shows up in the taste.

I’m watching Alice Waters on 60 Minutes tonight, and she was just talking about the choices we make in life and how her choice is to eat food that’s just been picked, even though it’s more expensive.  Looking at my food bills, including today’s Peapod delivery, I know I spend a fortune on food.  People who think that it’s cheaper eating healthy food instead of cookies, etc., are crazy.

But I’m making it a priority to eat fresh, healthy food and a minimum of processed foods.  It helps that I don’t really even want them.  The only snack treat I buy now are those Hostess mini chocolate cupcakes, and Tootsie roll snack size. Each package = 1 point and provides enough of a chocolate treat to satisfy the sweet tooth.  No ice cream, no cookies, no 100-calorie packs (except the cupcakes).  I don’t want to be eating miniature versions of what I used to eat; I want to be eating different things that satisfy me.

It’s like an alien Anne has invaded Fat Anne’s body and is making herself at home.  Kinda weird but good.