Cooking Again! Okay, Just a Little Bit

I made mini crustless quiches yesterday, a recipe from my WLS blog friend Eggface.  She has about 50 variations of these little bites, as she calls them, but Sunday I made the Breakfast Bites. Each one has 45 calories and 3g of protein, and 3-4 make a serving, depending on what you’re having with them.  They’re full of eggs, swiss cheese, chopped ham, onions and ’shrooms, baked in a mini muffin tin. It’s nice to have variety for meals and I’ve been getting sick of 2 oz of cottage cheese or yogurt for breakfast.

She also has dozens and dozens of recipes for all kinds of foods that are WLS-safe but equally appealing to non-ops.  (The bites, for example, would be wonderful appetizers for a party.)  Next on my list to try is protein ice cream.    Or maybe the pizza bites. We’ll see.

I also made pudding yogurt, this time with a protein boost. I mixed a tub of plain non-fat yogurt with a box of instant sugar free vanilla pudding, one scoop of vanilla protein, and 4 TB of SF Torani gingerbread syrup.  I’ve made this stuff for years with just yogurt and pudding, but adding the protein powder kicks up the nutrition value without changing the taste.  The Torani syrup takes care of that, in a good way.  I went a little crazy ordering SF Torani flavors that I couldn’t find locally and am eager to try out.

I went out and about late morning to shop for a few things before the cold rain started – toys for the Toys for Tots drive at work, warm gloves & scarf for the Cold Weather Clothing drive, also at work, and some whey protein to give my nephew for Christmas.  It’s not the biggest size tub but I’m pretty sure he’ll appreciate it and at least it does fill up the “under the tree” space.

Most of my shopping is done, though I plan to pick up some things at the Union Square Christmas Fair in New York City this week on a day off.  Holding my breath that the weather behaves coz I don’t really want to mill around NYC in snow, rain or sleet.  Yes, I’m a wieather wimp.

NSV: The State of my Clothes

I was grumbling yesterday to my friend Phyllis about how my pants were all too long and I had to shorten them to keep them from dragging through wet puddles of snow or rain.  Hemming is not my favorite thing to do and I was not amused at the idea of shortening them all.  But then I remembered that I had pairs of pants the next size down, pants that I didn’t expect to wear until maybe February.  Just to see how far away it might be before I can really wear them, I tried them on.

And they fit.

Well, that explains a lot and means I have a whole bunch of pants that I will soon be able to pack up and drop off at Goodwill.  But it also means I have no pants left in the closet to get back down into as things progress.  Which means I’ll have to go shopping for pants, something I despise because it’s so hard.

I stopped off at Dress Barn Woman this afternoon to take a look at their clothes and left knowing that I now have another place to shop.  The clothes are more upscale and appropriate for me, rather than some of the poorly constructed stuff I’ve seen at Avenue.  Maybe not poorly constructed, but definitely box shape.  My body isn’t a box and I want clothes that let me dress in a way that works.

I bought a couple of sweaters on eBay this weekend, getting some great buys on things down a size.  Things I think I can wear are turning out to be more shapeless than I realized, definitely indicating they are way too big even though I want them to fit.  I would be better served to weed them out of the drawers and rotate a few different things that actually work than thinking I had clothes that fit that really don’t anymore.  I hope that makes sense.

I also ordered a new winter parka down 2 sizes from the one I wore last year, on sale for 50% off.  65 lbs later, it looks ridiculous – and when I wore it this week, all the cold air swept up from underneath and I almost froze.   I’m not silly enough to buy a new coat for every size but I need to be realistic about what will keep me warm up here where winter is serious business for the next 4 months.

The smaller I get, the more options will be available for picking up low-cost transitional things.  I just wish my feet would consider getting narrower.  Those 4E shoes are really hard to find!

When is Throwing Up not Vomiting?

I’m warning you in advance, this is going to be TMI for a lot of people.  Feel free to skip; I won’t be offended (and I won’t even know, which makes it all very easy).  But this is something I need to record as part of my lapband journey so I remember the lesson.

If you’d asked me before I started this process if throwing up meant anything but vomiting, I would have said no.  I know better now both from research and personal experience. The “other kind” of throwing up is known in bandster land as PB’s or Productive Burping.  It sounds a lot more pleasant than it is.

The experience came on Friday at lunchtime while sitting in the law school dining hall.  My lunch was about 2 oz of sliced turkey from the sandwich lady and a hardboiled egg from the salad bar.  Both were proteins that I thought I could handle but I couldn’t, at least not together.  I ate about 1/2 of the turkey and maybe 1/2 of the egg when I started feeling sharp pain in the middle of my chest, just under the bra line and just above where my port is located.   I knew I was in trouble but didn’t know what to do.

One of the dining hall staff sitting across the room facing me saw my face and recognized what was happening; she had gastric bypass and lost 145 lbs several years ago.  We’d talked about the procedures before and she knew where I was in my process.  Apparently my face had turned gray.  She led me outside, going through the kitchen to the closest door, to get me with some fresh air, and asked one of her colleagues to bring me a bottle of water.

I knew I had to throw up.  I wanted to but food was just stuck and I didn’t know what to do.  She told me to try and relax, that being stressed and scared just made it harder.  (Easier to say than do.)  All of a sudden, part of the lunch was on the sidewalk.  My chest felt better but there was more there, and sure enough, I did it again a short while later. I ended up back in my office waiting to see if things were settled down enough for me to go home early.  I managed to PB another 4-5 times, fortunately in the restroom, and finally figured that everything I’d had for lunch was gone.  That’s when I went home.

What was different from normal vomiting was that this stuff was slimy with saliva and mucus generated by the body to try and lubricate the blockage.  Nothing tasted sour the way it does if you really vomit, since that brings up stomach acids and tastes horrible.   It’s really important for bandsters to not vomit if at all possible, since the pressure needed to eject stuff from the big stomach can dislodge the band as the material comes through the small opening to my pouch and then up the esophagus.

There are several reasons why this happened, and I need to remember this lesson.   I was eating too fast, the pieces are more normal size instead of the “pencil eraser” size – and the food was too dry.  My food needs to be moist, in small pieces, and eaten slowly.  I was good at it in the beginning but have slipped up.  That has to stop.

I’ve had one fill which hasn’t really done much of anything to restrict my eating, which I’m doing from willpower.  I’m usually not exceptionally hungry and have been able to avoid trouble spots.  But I’m hoping the next fill will help add a little restriction until we get to the sweet spot.

In the meantime, Friday’s lesson was one that I had to go through in order to really understand why those eating rules matter.

Thanksgiving 2009

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  I spent the day home with the kitty, except for a little trip to Walmart to see if I could nab a fake Christmas tree before things go bananas tomorrow with the Black Friday shoppers.   I went to the dinky little store near my house, which is a really terrible store, and their selection was meh.  If I’m feeling up to it, I may go to the real store later this weekend – or else just be content with a 5′ fake tree I spotted at Home Depot.  I’m allergic to real trees, which is why I bother.

Last week I was able to add fish into my diet, and that went well – tho to be honest, the idea of actually cooking fish just to get a 2 oz serving wasn’t appealing, so I mostly just had tuna, which is soft and comes in little cans perfect for taking into the office.  I’m not in love with plain tuna, though, so looked forward to being able to add chicken this week.  For Thanksgiving I cooked a small chicken in the crockpot, yielding so much meat I wondered why I did a whole chicken instead of just a breast.  Oh well, lots to freeze for future meals.

So far my system is doing well.  It’s been 4 weeks today since my surgery and I had my first fill of 1.5 cc of saline into the lapband on Monday.  My next one will be just before Christmas.  So far I’m not noticeably less hungry but am still limited to 8 oz/day (tho I’m kind of stretching it a little bit).  Still, I’m taking in under 350 calories/day at this point and as soon as I’m healed up, I’m looking forward to having more variety.   Here’s the total change since April:

Last weekend I was up in Foxboro, MA, to visit my nephew who plays football with the New England Patriots.  He’s been on the practice squad for a month and his dad flew up for the weekend and went to the big game with him on Sunday.  It was great to see them again after almost a year, especially since the family will be in Texas for Thanksgiving without either of the New England contingent.

I’m looking forward to a low-key sleep-in long weekend.  I have no leftovers except chicken but am just as happy not to be in a carb-coma on the couch after eating too much food I didn’t really want or need.  My two weeks off post-op really spoiled me for lazy quiet days so I’m thrilled to have these now, and the promise of a long Christmas recess break in just a few weeks.

For now, hope your holiday was happy, your family and friends are healthy, and your weekend is relaxed.

Heading back to work tomorrow

My restful healing time off is over and I head back to the office tomorrow morning.  After 2 1/2 weeks of sleeping until I woke up, the clock will rudely awaken me at 5:30am.  Tessie and I have gotten used to not hearing the clock, and I’m not sure which of us will be most deeply asleep when the assault comes.  She’s going to miss me lots, as I will her.

But I’m getting bored at home, and lonely.  I only had one visitor while on my leave and although I’ve talked to plenty of people by phone, email and Twitter, it’s just not the same as face to face people contact.  I’m guessing that close to 1/2 of the day tomorrow will be spent checking in with people and seeing how much stuff piled up in anticipation of my return.

I feel a little as though I’m in high school.  What will I wear?  What will I do for lunch?  What if I forget my password(s)?  What if no one likes me?  Well, okay, that one isn’t really an issue.  But still.  What will I wear?  I’ve lost 12 lbs since I was there last, and have clothes for it being colder but not so much for the 50’s.  But I want to show off a little and not go in on day one wearing ultra-baggy clothes.  We’ll see.

Food will be a little tricky.  I’m eating small bits 5-6 times a day and am bringing some of those teeny Glad plastic bowls so I can divide up some yogurt from the dining hall (I know they have some I can eat) so I can split it into different “meals”.  Tomorrow is the first day of Category Two, which means I can add fish to the menu, but it makes sense to try it at home first before bringing tuna to work, in case my body has problems.

As for the passwords, well, I’m hoping finger memory will bring them back when I need them.

Real Food Tastes Wonderful

Not that I’m eating a lot of it.  But still, it’s way more tasty than endless ounces of water, Crystal Light, and my small portions of ensure.   No, I’ve graduated to 8 oz of soft food per day.  This week that includes eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, mashed potatoes, thin oatmeal, and canned or cooked fruit and veggies.

After seeing the doctor yesterday for my follow up, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things to make sure I had the right stuff since my shelves were pretty bare of almost everything except at least a dozen little tubes of Crystal Light tubs.  I was almost overwhelmed by the amount and colors and aromas of food in the store and was glad I had a very small list and could spend not too much time.  I’m not ready to be around accessible food like that.

My first meal was 2 oz of 0% Fage with 1 canned peach slice.  It took me 30 min. to eat and tasted divine.  Dinner was 2 scrambled eggs, except I couldn’t eat both – it was too much food – so I gave the last part to the kitty, who gobbled it up.  She’s thrilled that mommy is back to having food she eats on plates for her to investigate.

My incisions are healing nicely, especially now that the bandaids are off (somehow everyone forgot to mention that I only needed them for 2 days post-op – I think they need to rewrite some of their documentation).  I go back to the surgeon in 2 weeks for my first saline fill.

For those who don’t know, the lapband system has the actual band part itself, which separates out a small pouch at the top of the stomach.  It holds about 1 oz at a time.  The band fits around the pouch and is connected with very tiny tubing under the skin to a port that’s sutured under the skin in the middle of the abdominal area.   Nothing is visible to the naked eye except the surgery scars.

Inside the little band is a tiny balloon that is filled with saline solution injected into the port, going down the tubing and filling the balloon, thus tightening the band to make it more restricted.  Except of course they only fill a tiny bit at a time, and sometimes fluid can be removed if the band is too tight.  My whole band only holds 10 cc of fluid, which is not much.   It’s a dance of sorts to find the “sweet spot” of fullness that allows me to eat/drink what I need but restricts me from overdoing it and eating everything in sight.  Not that that’s likely now, since I get full on an ounce of yogurt!

I’m feeling good, except for my continuing knee pain, and as of this morning, and down 59.2 lbs since April.  I don’t really know my surgery day weight, since I gained about 7 lbs of fluids while I was in the hospital and lost all of those plus another 10 lbs.  The doctor told me to expect only about 5-6 lbs more in the next two weeks, which still sounds pretty good to me.

I pulled some clothes out and realized I can wear things I haven’t worn in at least 4 years – and some things are too silly looking to keep wearing.  It helped that I saw Stacy & Clinton yesterday on a WNTW rerun, and their makeover victim candidate’s before clothes looked a lot like mine.  Major incentive to weed!