What matters when we fall off the wagon is to just get up again and keep going. It doesn’t matter if the wagon is dieting, or gambling or drugs or alcohol or any other form of addiction (incuding overuse of credit cards) – or not going to the gym. It really doesn’t matter what it is. And most of us, including me, spend way too much time beating ourselves up for having failed and become total losers, blah blah blah, and then we keep doing whatever it was that we did so that it becomes a viscious circle.
I’m working to break my cycle. On Sunday morning I went to a new WW meeting in a new place with new people, to try it out. It was in a real WW center, unlike my regular meeting place, and it was filled with light from the many windows. It wasn’t crowded but the people were friendly and the leader was engaging. And one of the receptionists is someone I know, so there was a bit of the familiar. Mostly, tho, I was able to concentrate on listening and the words of the topic instead of catching up with people and coasting. That’s easy to do when you’re not ready to work.
I don’t want to work. I want to just do it and not sweat bullets over every single thing I eat. I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again if I’m “in the zone”; the trick is how to get there. But I’m trying to change things up a little to see if I can find it again and make it easier for myself.
So I tried the new meeting and liked it. I will go again – and will probably still go back to my other one, at least some, because I like the people. But I’d gotten complacent and lulled into my habits. The new meeting, the new place and people, made me think about things diffrently. So far I’ve strung four days together of writing down my food and staying within my points, which is big progress.
I haven’t been hugely hungry, either, which tells me that whatever I’m eating is satisfying my need for flavors and tastes: Asian pears, good whole wheat bread, corn English muffins, chocolate pudding yogurt with raspberries. I made meat sauce and ladled it over steamed broccoli and onions with rice and added roasted veggies. New WW lemon 2-point bars. Remembering to have popcorn for snacks when I want something salty.
I’ve done stupid things that hurt my knee which is limiting my mobility. Too much driving around on Saturday made it stiff and sore and yesterday I walked too far to lunch (though Bertucci’s was worth it, as was the company). My knee is swollen and I’ve been limping and trying to pretend it doesn’t feel as though someone is stabbing ice picks into it. Going backwards in the recovery was not my plan but it does seem to have happened. Now I don’t know what to do except go to PT, which I have again tomorrow.
Mostly I’m feeling pretty stable, except for the knee, and working on being kind to myself for a change. And it is a change. Spotting this article on MSN today was a reinforcement that I’m going in the right direction. The one on Lose Weight Like a Guy is good, too. Nothing obsessive, just little things that are more about mindset than about tight-fisted control. So far, so good. And if I fall off the wagon, I’ll just up and hop on again. Okay, maybe not HOP with this knee; maybe I’ll make it slow so I can climb on first before I get going. But I’m not going to stop.