Checkout script

Do all checkout clerks follow the same script? It’s more than one store, it’s all of them. They used to ask if I wanted Paper or Plastic but now they just assume it’s plastic and don’t even ask, which is annoying because I like to recycle bags and prefer paper. They don’t know how to pack the bags, either, and put cans on top of tomatoes or bread.

WalletBut most annoying is their insistance on bagging everything and then giving me my change, leaving me standing there trying to put it into the wallet while not clogging up the line. The faster I try to move, the more my hands turn into giant lumps without functioning fingers to separate bills or coins.

I know it didn’t used to be that way. Maybe it’s all an attempt to make me use plastic and not cash, though if I ask for cash back I end up with the same problem. It’s worse in the winter when I’m also trying to deal with gloves and things; summer is somehow a more relaxed time.

None of this really matters and I’m just being crabby. A clerk practically shoved my change at me tonight at the grocery store and glared when I didn’t immediately get out of the way of the next customer and I’m feeling residual annoyance.

Carb coma

Smiling pigI was possessed this morning by a carb demon. Up early because of the extra hour of sleep and plenty of light when my eyes popped open, I had extra time before I went to my Weight Watchers meeting so I thought I’d be clever and do grocery shopping early, getting a jump on the day.

Bad idea. Really, really bad idea. Because I hadn’t eaten breakfast, you see, not wanting to add anything extra to my tummy before my 9:30 weigh in. I’m used to drinking a 20-oz bottle of water by 7am so I was feeling parched and hungry. And there I was in the grocery store with my scattered choices – and that last minute box of Krispy Kreme donuts. I don’t even really LIKE them. But I was hungry and thought I could have one and it would take the edge off.

Really, reallly bad idea. Note to self: do not buy donuts in a box anymore. I ate four of them before the car got home because food eaten in a car doesn’t really have any calories or points. I can handle eating one donut from Dunkin Donuts if I buy it as a single one and count it. But a box? what was I thinking? I guess the point is that I wasn’t thinking.

On my sugar high from the donuts, I went to WW and was up 2 lbs, negating what I lost last week. At least it’s not up more than that. But I couldn’t stop. I looked for anything not nailed down to eat and managed to snarf down more potato rolls than should even have been in the house before I squished the rest of them with dishwashing liquid and tossed them in the trash. But I could have eaten the entire package.

I don’t know how to be moderate in eating the things I really like. I don’t know how normal people do it, eat just one of them and enjoy it and put the rest back in the package to eat another time – or sometimes even have it go stale until they think of it again. There is no chance I would have done that with a donut.

At least I know what I’m doing even if I don’t know how to quite make it stop. At least I’m eating with more awareness, even if I’m not so pleased with the things I’m becoming really aware of. I can’t change them if I don’t know what they are – and that, at least, it clear.

Comfort food

KFC logoThe KFC commercials for their “famous bowls” are driving me nuts.  How does something become “famous” when it is a new product?  I can see if if they were telling me to go buy their “famous crispy chicken” which I’ve heard about forever, but these bowls have only been around a short while and have been “famous” ever since they arrived.

And what’s in one of these bowls?  Mashed potatoes, layered with sweet corn and loaded with bite-sized pieces of crispy chicken drizzled with gravy and topped off with a shredded three-cheese blend.  I guess one cheese wasn’t enough to make it famous.   This happy bowl has 720 calories, 65 gms of cholesterol, 32 gms of fat, and 81 gms of carbohydrates.  Yikes.  And it was just like Thanksgiving dinner all in a bowl, except without the stuffing or sweet potatoes with marshmallows.

The thing is,  I love all those things in the KFC bowl. I would probably love them all together, and it would be so easy to just say, oh, I’ll have a Famous Bowl.  Except I never go to KFC, but that’s a small point.   The ads make me want to go.  Ads for salad just don’t do the same thing for me. Mashed potatoes and corn and gravy and chicken in a nice bowl is comfort food and right now I could use some.

Instead I’ve been substituting chocolate fudge pudding yogurt as a comfort food today.  It’s not the same but it’s a lot better for me.

First slice

First slice

Originally uploaded by altopower.

Do you think 15 large pizzas are enough for lunch? That’s how many we got today for the celebratory lunch we had to send off our colleague Liz to her new job in NYC. I’m excited for her that she has a chance to step out and take this big leap into the future, following her career in a job she was so happy to get. But we will miss her sparkling personality and quick abilities.

Times are changing for us. Lots of staff turnover, which isn’t a bad thing, but it does mean shuffling workloads and extra stress while we cover for vacant positions and interview, hire and train new staff. I’ve been at this for a long time now and it goes in patterns. Sometimes we can go for months and even a year or two at a time without losing anyone and then wham! things change radically all at once.

Although it’s unsettling and a lot of work, it’s also a good opportunity to look at what we’re doing with fresh eyes and wonder why on earth we ever thought a procedure made any sense when a new person points out obvious inconsistencies. It’s easy to take things for granted and get complacent when life just goes on as usual.

Well, the weight loss journey is the same. We go coasting along and get lulled into thinking we know what we’re doing and we get overly comfortable where we are. So we don’t notice inconsistencies in how we are practicing our plan, living out what we say we are doing, until someone new points it out.

That doesn’t make it easy or comfortable and I, for one, don’t always react well to having it pointed out. Work is one thing; weight cuts a lot closer to the bone and makes me more vulnerable. But it’s one reason I changed my WW meeting to a different day and location, to shake up what I’m doing and the people I’m doing it with.

I can’t say I had a perfect day today but I did have only 2 slices of pizza and 3 cupcakes at lunch. And one little teeny slice of cake – but to be honest, I really liked the cupcakes more. Tomorrow will be harder, stuck here in the house in the pouring rain, but I’ll do my best.

Right now I’m just aiming for staying healthy and maintaining my weight while I deal with the extra stress of things in other places in my life. That is doable. Now if we can just get past the performance appraisals …

Ugly Betty

America Ferrera as Ugly BettyI am in love with Ugly Betty, the new ABC show based on a Colombian telenovela that’s already aired nine or ten times around the world in different languages. It’s a modern tale of the ugly duckling fairy tale starring the wonderful America Ferrera, who I first saw in “Real Women Have Curves,” a movie all of Us would appreciate for the celebration of self that it is.

Betty is a normal person in the crazy world of a fashion magazine office. She has a real life with friends and family, morals and intelligence. The characters are sharply drawn and involving even while the world of the office is truly bizarre much of the time; normal people just don’t live like that. But it’s fun to get a peek at it through Betty’s eyes, and to see them really notice her and not just make fun of who she is.

Most of the time TV shows keep me busy or get me annoyed or teach me something. I just really like this one. Betty is a normal person and I feel good when I watch her bloom by just being herself. There is a lesson there.