Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Feeling Balanced and Appreciated

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I’ve been foiled in my plan to finish assembling the desk. One of the parts is damaged, cracked along the curve of the molding that sits front and center. It’s not a big piece but I spent big bucks on the desk and plan to keep it for a good long time, so I was annoyed to find the damage.

I anticipated having to fight with someone to get the piece replaced but was pleasantly surprised to discover that the Sauder people have an online form to order replacement parts for any of their do-it-yourself furniture. Hmmmm, perhaps this is an indication of the general quality, if they’ve made it so easy. But they didn’t charge me anything for it and I didn’t have to argue with a real person, just fill out a form and, like magic, a replacement Molding T piece will arrive. In the meantime, my guest room looks like a desk graveyard with half-assembled bits waiting for me to complete Step 7.

Hillhouse AvenueIn other news, work is going well. I had yet another orientation today, this time to the university library system, which has over 600 employees. I was struck today, even more so than at the general university orientation, how glad they were to have us as new employees. We heard several times that we were chosen for these positions because of our experience, skills and talents. It wasn’t just that we chose Yale; Yale chose us. Chose me. Wow.

Much is expected of us but they don’t hire people and then drop them into a black hole and let us find our way out. There’s an elaborate support system for continuing professional growth but they also emphasize work/life balance, wanting us to be whole people. I have to say this is pretty refreshing, as I don’t remember ever really hearing this from my previous employer.

I’ve been leaving the office at 5:00 since I got here, which is also refreshing. I’d let my hours get completely out of hand, staying until 6 or 7 or sometimes even 8pm, which only made me tired, cranky and stressed out. It didn’t make me more productive. Now I’m leaving on time to catch a bus to the parking garage, or maybe walk over with other people also ending the day at a reasonable time.

While I’m there, I’ve been digging into a backlog of problems and unsolved mysteries. I’ve always loved doing this kind of thing; it’s so satisfying to pull a small thread, discover the tangle, and track it through to completion. I mixed a bunch of metaphors there but you get my drift. When I leave at the end of the day, it’s with a sense of accomplishment, not stress. This has been a good change.

Food is another matter. It’s not that I have no idea what I’m eating – I do. I’m eating things that are healthy and sensible, followed by a bunch of stuff that isn’t. Goofy foodBut I can’t seem to do all one or the other. Eating only junk food, sugar and bread and oily things that used to be the staples of my diet, just isn’t happening anymore. Not only can my brain not allow my stomach to go there, my stomach doesn’t want to go either.

Eating only healthy things that are good for me starts out as a well-intentioned plan that falls apart for lack of interest. What I need to do is push through it whether I’m interested or not but today I just can’t do it, don’t want to do it, and am not beating myself up for failing. While I’m not always making good choices, I’m aware of the choices I’m making. I’m walking more and enjoying it (as long as it’s not beastly hot), and this is itself an improvement.

I’m content today with the choices I made. Now if I only had my replacement part, I could finish up my desk.

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