Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Wanting a Full Life


Trinity Choir at Salisbury Cathedral

This blog is mostly about weight loss efforts but it’s not called Random Thoughts for nothing. I get tired of thinking of my life as limited to weight and food, diets and exercise, body image and judgments based on being “good” or “bad” with my self-defined plan. I feel so stifled when my life is boiled down to those things, and narrowly focused. I want more than that for myself and my life. I want to be socially aware and spiritually connected, to explore my community and learn new things that have nothing to do with how many points or calories are involved. I want a life that doesn’t revolve around food even as I know I have to eat and enjoy good food prepared well.

I’ve put way too many things on hold and I’m bored with the limits I’ve placed on my life. The fact is that I’m not thin and it will take me a long time to get there at the rate I’m going, though going down slowly is better than going up, so I’m not complaining about that. But waiting until I’m thinner to have a life seems restrictive and silly.

This morning I found a copy of a long letter I wrote to friends 10 years ago when my choir got back from a 10-day tour of England. It was truly one of the best experiences of my life and it saddens me that I haven’t done much to figure out what I’d like to do next or work to make it happen.

I’ve never taken a cruise and would love the chance to travel and get away from it all. There’s one tentatively scheduled for 2008 that interests me – Authors at Sea – and if the timing works, I may plan a vacation to include it. Since my vacations usually involve visiting family or going to professional conferences, this would be a big change of pace.

I’ve lived small – important things, but narrowly focused. It’s time to open up my vision and broaden my thinking and my life.

5 thoughts on “Wanting a Full Life

  1. you are brilliant

  2. That would be a wonderful trip, Anne. I’d love to see you do all of these things. I think you deserve more out of life than counting points and worrying about your weight. It does get old. You are wonderful!

  3. I feel the same way about broadening my life. The cruise sounds amazing. If it interests you and you feel positive about it, why not make your schedule fit that plan instead of putting it on “maybe” status and waiting to see if life works out to accommodate it?

    I literally laughed out loud when I pictured Jackie Collins and Arthur Frommer at the same table. I hope you go for it!

  4. The real reason the cruise is a “maybe” for me is that they haven’t confirmed dates. I read about the last one too late to sign up – it was already fully booked – so have been hoping they’d do another. I put myself on the mailing list and will be notified when things are confirmed. As long as the dates don’t conflict with something else, I’m going 🙂

  5. I am cheering on the idea of a full life and a “real” vacation. Life has to be about more than weight, work, and wanting…

    Hope the dates line up for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s