Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Almost Ready for Company

3 Comments

CountdownI’ve been counting down the days before my parents come, using my list of Things That Need to be Done. It’s broken down by room and I’ve been trying to get one done a night. But I hate working around the house when it’s dark outside and after I’ve been gone all day doing Work. I figured that having a way to break things down would make it at least manageable.

One thing, well okay, two things, I’m doing this week have nothing to do with the parents’ visit and everything to do with personal boundaries. Yesterday I went to my water aerobics class and added an extra 30 minutes before we started, so I must have walked miles in the pool. It really was a hard workout but I’m getting to know what the exercises are and how to do them without hurting the knee but still feeling it in the muscles. Of course afterward the whole class hopped into the whirlpool and chatted some more.

Although I know I’ll be ultra-anxious tomorrow, since they come on Friday, I’m still going to tomorrow’s WA class. I need to set that time apart for myself to do something physical FOR myself. I’ll have to miss at least one next week but I deserve the workout and I’m going to carve out the time to do it even if it means not cleaning something that no one would probably notice anyway.

The other thing I did for myself was go to Weight Watchers for a weigh in and stay for the meeting. We talked about butterflies, and how to be able to fly we first have to be willing to let go of being a caterpillar. There were 6 things on the list, most of which I’ve already forgotten because I have a memory like a steel sieve. But I noticed that when the leader asked us for ways we could work on “Believe in Yourself”, we all sort of drew blanks. We could come up with motivational things but I think we really didn’t believe all that much in ourselves and that we could do what we’ve set out to do.

I know this is true for me. I believe that I am a good person, a good friend, and have lots of positive qualities. I’m not saying I’m a schmuck or evil because I’m obese or because I’ve gained back some of the weight I’ve lost. But I’m going to have to think about this one, what it means to believe in myself and live that out. I think it could be an important piece.

For now, though, I’m waiting for the dryer to stop. There is wine waiting to chill, the study is dusted, the bedding for the Aerobed has been pulled out of the storage chest, and the freezer had lots of protein. I have a batch of browned ground turkey, onions, peppers, and garlic ready to thaw and use in meat sauce with pasta for Friday’s supper. A basket holds tour books, maps, and brochures of things to do.

I haven’t seen my parents since Thanksgiving and can’t wait to see them. The visit is really about the time together, not about whether I’ve fixed the perfect meal or dusted everything that doesn’t move.

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3 thoughts on “Almost Ready for Company

  1. Two things that stick out. One is that you realize that the visit about seeing them and not having everything perfect. I really understand the need for that (gosh, I tried to really clean my apt when my mother was coming to see me when I was still using a crutch!).

    The other thing which really made me proud of you too was that you deserve the workout and you’re squeezing it in. It’s not always easy to do workouts (I skipped mine last night which will shock you, LOL) but you see this as taking care of yourself. You are a wonderful person and your weight really doesn’t define you. I hope you have a fantastic time with them.

  2. Enjoy your visit. Have a great weekend.

  3. I hope that you have a great time with your parents.

    I don’t know WHY – but my water aerobics instructor (that actually has a college degree in training) told us CONSTANTLY to make sure we came all the way down on our heels EVERY TIME we took a step or did an exercise in water aerobics. She said that many people (incorrectly) stay on their toes – and this causes some type of damage/problem. If she said what the problem was – I don’t remember – but she said to be sure to come all the way down on our heels. She also had us warm down at the wall – stretching our arms, legs and backs like you would after running. She also had us all get water aerobic shoes (LandsEnd or Discount Chain Stores) so we would not slip and to help cut down on impact (even though the water does that too).

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