Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Overeating Member of Red Sox Nation

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Red Sox LogoRight now I wish I was back in Boston. Back in the heart of Red Sox Nation, to celebrate with a whole city and state full of excited happy people, dancing in the streets over last night’s World Series win.

Instead, I’m here in Connecticut. There are Red Sox people here, too, of course, but we’re dangerously close to Yankee territory and we’re definitely outnumbered. Larry Lucchino said three years ago that we were the point of the sword deep into Yankee territory – but we were still part of Red Sox Nation. Last night was a late night and when the game was over, everyone was too excited and happy to sleep. That’s not a good plan when we have a whole work week ahead.

I’m trying not to think about all the food I’ve consumed in the last three days. Everything not nailed down that had sugar and fat managed to find their way into my mouth – cookies, Halloween candy, ice cream. I didn’t journal, I didn’t drink my water (well, some but not all), I didn’t get enough veggies or fruit. I was totally out of control.

It didn’t help and probably was exacerbated by the fact that I was home doing as little as possible. I felt totally drained and mindless, without energy for doing much of anything. Those days don’t come often but when they do, I just need to recharge. Usually I can do it without stuffing my face the whole day. I’m not really sure why this time it was bad, perhaps because I’d forced myself not to snack while my parents were here and it blew out in bad ways.

I know that I’ll be up at the scale on Wednesday and I really don’t care. Actions have consequences and when I eat more of the things outside the program, I gain weight. That’s actually a cautionary truth, a hard reality that I see with my eyes as much as I feel it in the tightness of my pants.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and I’m going to water aerobics after playing hooky for two weeks. I need the workout and hope the water isn’t freezing. My new car heating pad is here and I’ll give it a whirl out in the parking lot before class.

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