Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Gym Avoidance Syndrome


Woman strength trainingTessie and I have been resting this long weekend, particularly yesterday and today. She doesn’t go out at all, of course, but I pretty much hibernated and slept in, did laundry, cooked a bit, watched food porn on the Food Network, and let the brain rest.

My original plan for the weekend included putting on gym-appropriate clothes and going to the gym to remind myself what it looked like on the inside. Yes, it’s been that long. But I didn’t go. My gym avoidance syndrome is thriving.

Listening to some of You talk about your workouts and exercise routines, I feel depressed and inadequate rather than inspired. That has nothing to do with you and your successes but it’s about me and my stuck-ness. I want what you have but not enough to make myself go out and do it.

Being the dead of winter isn’t helping. When it was warmer and the light held longer in the afternoons, I walked to/from the car instead of taking the bus, but in the cold and dark late afternoons, I haven’t felt up to doing that, either. And it’s not particularly safe to be wandering around some of the campus or the parking garage in the dark, so it’s not just about my laziness.

My gym has huge ranges of equipment and when I was going, I saw people working away with great gusto. When I tried using it, I found that the machines were not scaled well for me as a short person and it was annoying because the men were able to just sit down and start working out. My Boston gym was for women only and everything was scaled so it worked for us – plus I also knew what I was doing.

One big hang up here is that the personal trainers are available not for a short spurt of sessions but for long-term commitment packages. What I really want is to just pay someone for one or two visits to make sure I know how to use the machines safely – the machines as a step from doing nothing to get back to strength training – and not sign over my first born child for three sessions a week for a year. I need a little bit more nerve to go in and ask for just that.

6 thoughts on “Gym Avoidance Syndrome

  1. I’m surprised your gym doesn’t require an orientation session with a trainer, in order to familiarize you with their equipment. I’ve belonged to three different gyms and, for liability purposes, all of them scheduled that appointment before I walked out the door the first time.

    I’m short too, and it’s a pain to adjust the equipment, but it’s the only way to work out safely.

    Winter sucks, doesn’t it? At least it doesn’t last forever! Take care …

  2. I hope that my post this morning doesn’t offend in any way – if it does – please let me know – I’ll take it down.

  3. Debbi – my gym did require an orientation session and that’s exactly what I thought I would be getting, since I’ve done it before in other places. Mostly it turned into a major hard sell for the packaged personal training session. It’s worth going back to ask for what I really want to see what happens. The gym is the only one around with a pool and I did do water aerobics for about a month when I first joined. If all I do is that, but do it regularly, it would be worth the small cost.

    Vickie – I”m not at all offended! Thank you for the thoughtful comments. I have lots to think about – there are more options than I’d really processed!

  4. Going to the gym ALWAYS put me in a panic. That was in the days before I realized I had a major anxiety disorder going. I wonder what it would be like to go & try to push my limits on a calm note.

    Now I can’t afford my gym & I know there’s no way in hell I’ll walk 8 or 10 blocks to the Y. I see people going in & I envy them so much for their financial solvency & commitment. If all I did was use the sauna & whirlpool right now, I’d be a happy camperess. Any antidote to this cold.

    I know, too, that I’d resist anything that made me stand. No treadmill, please: lead me to the bike for the aerobic part, then get me to the weights. Damn, I’d like to have a clean mat to simply lie on & breathe for a while. My house is piled up with dogs, dog grit & hair, & little open space even for lying.

    So it’s a trade-off, Friend. I can’t afford to go & envy your membership. I walk hours a day doing my job & you envy that. I think I’ll start saving money — maybe you can think of something to take a nick out of your gym phobia. Make that call about training, for instance, & don’t take any grief about packages. Or go for the whirlpool. Can you approach this on the five-dollar plan that I have to?

  5. Im so angry with myself right now. My Yoga class is 1 hour away, and Im full and tired. I did well with my eating all day, then, once again, it all came apart as I was preparing dinner. I go into a haze and start eating. Then Im too full to eat my healthy dinner, but I do manage to eat up the left overs. I am so sick of this cycle. I want to treat myself better than this. I have 25 pounds to loose, and I wont loose a single pound doing this. Now I just feel like calling it a night. I dont want to go out into the cold night to my Yoga class just to roll around like a beach ball. I just hate this cycle. This is just about the only thing about myself that I cant stand. I feel like I dont deserve to feel like this, but when Im eating, I feel like Im just having a little taste. Yes, a little taste 100 times. But I never see my little taste like that. I only see the one little taste. If I dont have one little taste I feel like im depriving myself and that my deprivation might blow up into a large binge. Well what the hell do ya call what Im doing? 100 little tastes ARE a binge! I never see it, though. I think that I should journal my food again, but most of all, I want to think of myself differently, what I want for myself, and what Im willing to change. Maybe I havent gotten that connection yet. Even when I do well for a few days, I loose ground, then feel discouraged and go completely off track. This never results in a big weight gain, it just keeps me from getting rid of this 25 pounds. If only I could keep it going.

  6. Pingback: Boxing » Gym Avoidance Syndrome Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

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