Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Thoughts on My Annual Physical Exam

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Child’s drawing of a doctorI hate having a physical exam and today’s was hard since I barely know the doctor – and I knew I’d gained weight since last August, which is the only time I’ve ever laid eyes on her. It didn’t help that I had a big bowl of soup and a drink immediately before going over. Getting on the scale was not happy thing and I could feel my stress level rising as I pushed those little weight things along the sliding scale to rack up the evil total. Miraculously I’ve only gained 12 lbs since August, though it seems like much more.

I was armed with a piece of paper with all my current meds and the questions I wanted to ask about assorted body parts, from the sore foot (x-rayed to see if there’s a stress fracture), unhappy knee (referral to orthopedics), to the sleep problems (arrange to have the CPAP data faxed to the doctor). Fasting bloodwork will come later this week.

And I couldn’t keep myself from raising the weight thing, my frustration at having gained and feeling a bit stressed at work. To her credit, she didn’t tell me I was an evil fat person who was going to die soon if I didn’t crack down and lose the extra pounds. She did ask if I’d considered gastric bypass or the lapband surgery, both of which are performed at our hospital.

I’ve always said flat out that I wouldn’t consider either of those options but lately I admit that the lapband one has been surfacing again. Whether it’s physically an option or not, I don’t think that I’m able to manage the mental part. Until I really get that sorted out, I’m not sure I’d have the motivation to eat the more restrictive foods and amounts. Hell, if I can’t even do the WW portions, why would I think I could do the other?

The doctor was supportive and didn’t insist, although she did tell me that if next year I want to talk about it, to think about a decision based on current research and not comments from people who had the surgeries a while ago. Things have changed dramatically and both surgeries are now performed laproscopically in 95% of patients.

The motivation has to come from somewhere, though, and if I can find it again, there’s no reason I can’t lose the weight without the surgery. I’m really relieved that there isn’t medical pressure to go another direction.

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2 thoughts on “Thoughts on My Annual Physical Exam

  1. I have disliked the concept of any kind of WLS for a variety of reasons. I also disliked having antidepressants too. But my doctor did say something and explained why she wanted me to change one of them. She said, “Just stay on it long enough to see if it will reduce your appetite and you can go forward with your program to lose more weight.” She was trying to get the mental going with the physical part of things.

    It sucks to think about taking medicine or having WLS to jump start and motivate someone to lose weight (like me). It actually more than sucks. It’s surgery or putting a chemical in your body. On the other hand, it’s hard to keep beating your head against a wall too. I don’t know what the answer is for you. It’s good to think about the mental side of it and whether you could keep it up. There are people who regain their weight even after WLS.

    I’m glad you went to the doctor and took care of yourself and was pro-active. I know it wasn’t easy to do but you will feel better with a new CPAP and maybe even get some resolution with your knees. Stay well!

  2. I sympathize with how frustrated you feel. I have felt that way a lot the past year and a half. For me, I think I have not been facing the fact that I was not really eating and exercising to lose and what that really means…for me, it means that I had to eat less and exercise more to lose. I was just maintaining. Facing this took me a long time and I’m still in that process…but since I’ve been taking a true look at what I was eating, etc. and have been consciously doing what I know is “right”, I have been seeing the scale go down. It’s not easy. I’ve known all along that there was no magic pill (even the WLS isn’t one…I have seen people have success with it, but no one I know has kept — or gotten — all the weight off…and now they can’t enjoy food at all which, to me, sucks), but I kept wanting one. Sorry, this is pretty discombobulated today…I’m rushing to get out of town, but what you said really resonated with me and I wanted you to know that you’re not the only frustrated one out there…

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