Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

So How’s it Going?


“Okay, we like reading about these snippets of your life, but really, how’s the food going? What about your body? Why aren’t you posting recipes and talking about exercise and dieting the way you used to? That’s what we want to read about.” How do I know this? From my blog stats. When I post about things dealing with food, exercise, body, and diet, the numbers go up. When I write about life things, it’s pretty flat.

I’m trying to decide what I think about that. I don’t want to write about food/body stuff right now, at least not much, but I miss having people read my words and comment and make me feel part of a community. Of course, I’m not so good about reading other people’s blogs much because I’m not choosing to use my time for much of it. I started to say I wasn’t managing the time well, but that’s not true. I’m managing it just fine, I just am not using it that way.

I’m still eating, of course, though not recording faithfully on Sparkpeople or anywhere else. I’m pretty aware that some of the time I’m eating junk but in relatively moderate amounts. I even threw away half of a candy bar today because I was full and didn’t really want the rest of it. That’s pretty amazing. I have Edy’s Slow Churned in the freezer and have some every day because I want to, but so far haven’t felt compelled to eat 1/2 of the container at one sitting.

I”m making brownies every week. I know, it’s weird. I promised this guy I’ll be seeing next weekend in St Louis that I would bring him brownies with walnuts, and I’ve been experimenting with different box brands because of course I want them to be yummy so he thinks I’m wonderful. In the meantime, I’m eating the test batches – but they’re lasting 5-6 days, which is remarkable. One batch that I didn’t like at all I just dumped. And they were chocolate!

Exercise isn’t happening much but I’m adding in what I can in little ways. Yesterday I spent my lunch hour walking in the cemetery across the street from the law school. It’s on the register of national historic places and is laid out with little lanes and beautiful trees, and has stones dating back to the early 1700’s. It was restful and quiet and the walking, even slowly, felt good after mostly being chained to my desk.

I just finished reading Mistress of the Art of Death, which I highly recommend, and have some new books waiting for me:

I’m into mystical things in both fiction and non-fiction these days, and books with magick catch my attention and hook something inside. No wonder I didn’t read many of the books on the LibraryThing list.

6 thoughts on “So How’s it Going?

  1. Hmm… I’m sensing a problem. In one breath, you’re considering WLS and in the next , you’re talking about making batch after batch of brownies. Even if you take 5-6 days to eat a batch, that could easily add 1,000 calories of fat and sugar to your daily intake.

    Are you baking brownies to ensure you can produce the perfect batch to impress this guy – or are you really baking brownies so you have an excuse to eat them?

    Why not try to impress him with your sparkling conversation and stories about your cat?

  2. I never said I was consistent – thanks for pointing out the stupidity of the brownies. While eating a batch a week isn’t smart from a nutritional viewpoint, I’m actually eating less junky food during the day at work than I had been. My guess is that the values aren’t that different. Eating any of it isn’t wise but it’s not as bad as it sounds. Not eating it at all is obviously the best solution.

  3. This posting sort of reminded me of the “power of the notebook” at therapy (mind therapy, not physical).

    One day my therapist sat down in her chair without her notebook. I said something that made her go leaping up to grab it and write a note.

    There was power in that movement.

    I didn’t think this so much for myself – but for the teen-somethings and the 20-somethings and perhaps even the 30-somethings that visit her office each day.

    Those that are motivated to eat and to not eat – some in an attention getting way.

    I felt the power of the notebook. For me – it is a more of a signal of this is something that I need to focus – something specific. I get clues from the movement of the pen.

    Not much feels normal to me (in life). Nearly everything feels strange. I look for clues to sort of be able to tell when I am on the right path and when I am stepping off of it.

  4. Have you tried Duncan Hines brownies yet? of all boxed brands, they are my favorite. But he will like them anyway, because you made them.

    I’m a little annoyed with Wendy’s comment because you were pretty honest with us and yourself, and I think you’re smart enough to figure things out.

    Write about what YOU want to write about.

  5. Thanks for the book tips — I put Mistress of the Art of Death on my Amazon wish list! 🙂

  6. Anne, I say you should talk about what you want to talk about, no matter how it affects your stats. It’s funny, I just shared the fact that I have a blog the other day with some folks from our mutual former employer, and I heard the initials that sounded like yours, and I was like, “Who’s that?” And now I know, DUH! I’m going to link to you from mine – I hope you are doing well. I miss you!

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