Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Happy 4th


This being July 4th and a day for picnics and parties and fireworks in celebration of our nation’s birthday, I was invited to a picnic by a buddy from the morning bus.  She asked me to bring a dessert and in my laziness, I decided brownies were the way to go.  Open a box, dump in some eggs, oil and water, stir, bake, and voila! Brownies.

Feeling virtuous, I didn’t even buy the box until this morning and whipped up a batch when I got home from the store.  Unfortunately by the time they were cooled, the picnic was cancelled because of expected thunderstorms.  Which meant there was a box of ready to eat brownies sitting on my counter.

Did I do the smart thing and demolish them in the disposal?  No.  Did I smush them up so they were unrecognizable?  No – and anyway, that wouldn’t change anything because they would still be brownies, just in a different shape.  Did I pour dish soap or some other revolting (and sick-making) substance on top?  Yes, but not until I ate about 1/4 of the pan.  Okay, maybe 1/3.  No, 1/4.  I made myself sick overeating something I didn’t even expect to have in the house and wouldn’t have bought or eaten if I’d been anywhere else. The remains of the pan are now in the trash, liberally squirted with Dawn and worchestershire sauce, but the damage is done.

The bad news is that I ate them without listening to my body enough to know that it was saying, “This is enough, you can stop now.”  The good news is that they are now in the trash, I have healthy groceries in the fridge, and tomorrow is another day.  And there is WW on Sunday morning, where I will step on the scale and hold myself accountable.  I don’t have to wait until Sunday to be more in controlle tomorrow.

Since I didn’t go to the picnic, I worked on The Closet Project today and have now successfully weeded through the closets and cedar chest. I still have the dresser and a box of reserved smaller things to evaluate.  I must say it’s pretty liberating to use the lens of “would I buy this again?” instead of “would I wear this again?”  My bags of clothes will go in the car tomorrow and popped into clothing donation boxes so they don’t get in the way.  Someone else will be thrilled to have the things that have no more value for me.  A Win-Win situation for everyone.

5 thoughts on “Happy 4th

  1. LOVE the “would I buy this again?” and I think I can add “would I have bought this at full price?” for myself. I am a sales rack junkie.

    I opened my refrigerator the other day to find a big box of triscits (sp?) staring at me. Not kindly buried in the back – but staring at me. Surprise food in my own refrigerator. We were leaving for the pool – I left and then called my son from the pool and said if it isn’t out of my sight by the time I get home – I will be punting it to the curb. They were my husband’s. We have a second refrigerator upstairs. Normally both the “boys” are GOOD about putting pizza place leftovers, etc in the upstairs fridge so that I don’t even know they are in the house. But this day – he didn’t think about the power of a surprise triscuit. The power of it was that I was pissed.

  2. And I would have had a REALLY hard time with the brownies too. Be proud of yourself that you pitched. Even if you had eaten half and pitched half (which you didn’t – yea you!!!) there is a lot of empowerment in pitching surprise food.

    And so sorry your picnic was cancelled – but good for you on working on your project!

  3. I think that the part of you that wanted the brownies wanted to get as many as possible before the part of you that didn’t want them got rid of them. That makes it tough to listen to your body.

    Picnic season is hard even if the party goes ahead. I recently took watermelon and tabbouli (the tabbouli I made and didn’t want anymore of) to a party and was pleasantly surprised to see that they were very popular with everyone. So I can’t tell myself that “no one will eat that healthy crap.” 🙂

  4. I think you did great; it would have been so easy to say to yourself, “well, I’ve eaten 1/4 — why not just finish it off” and say a few bad things about yourself in the process. So you stopped and you’re back in charge.

    I really do love your closet project; I was working on my closet last night too while watching the Deadliest Catch reruns. I just want to be able to go to my closet and pull out things I would wear and can wear (it’s been a rough week with pants and things that go shriek around my thighs). I know you have wonderful taste in clothes and so whoever gets those things will be really lucky.

    I have to say, I would have thought about making brownies too. Less work and always usually popular.

    You really did a great job and I’m glad you wrote about it.

  5. Getting rid of the Evil Brownies before they had all snuck their way down to your tummy was GREAT!!!! I have SUCH a hard time throwing out food, but it’s for the greater good when you know you’ll eat them ALL. 😉 And, yes, thank goodness, tomorrow is always another day!!

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