How many of you does it take to change a light bulb?
Aries:
Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus:
One, but just *try* to convince them that the burned-out one is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini:
Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done!
Cancer:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
Leo:
Leo’s don’t change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a
Virgo in to do the job for them while they’re out.
Virgo:
Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra:
Umm, two. Or maybe one. No — on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?
Scorpio:
That secret information can only be shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.
Sagittarius:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Capricorn:
I don’t waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so…..
Pisces:
Light bulb? What light bulb?
Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind 
Loved this one – and I can see the truth in it in a number of cases as well!