Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

My Clothes are Hopeless

4 Comments

Much as it pains me to admit, I’m back to wearing fat girl clothes, mostly badly fitting pants, big shirts and non-clingy sweaters. I don’t have any real idea of what fits and what doesn’t, other than that the pants are looking ridiculous.  The ones that more or less fit me looked like clown pants by the time I got home.

It’s discouraging to be very round and short, with a hanging belly that puts my waist lower in front than in the back – because that means that pants with zippers just do not work.  Given that, finding pants that are comfortable but still look even moderately appropriate has been impossible.

I’m too big right now to fit into the things I wore last year, and haven’t been able to find things that I could actually wear out of the store.  So I’m shopping mostly online, waiting until packages arrive to try things on and then returning the things that don’t fit. I don’t want to spend a lot of money to get clothes in my bigger size, even if I can find them.  But I do need some pants that don’t make me look or feel stupid.  And hopefully that will be even warm, because the colder mornings are upon us and winter is just around the corner.

The problem is that most if it fits weirdly.  Even I know that clown pants are not in for the well dressed librarian.  I can’t bear to have things be tight on me because I feel fatter, but I also know that loose clothing makes you look bigger than you are.  It’s a conundrum.

But I don’t know how to find a look that will work; the best I can do is get good pieces, usually sweaters that “float away from the body at the hips” — which is a lot easier to describe than it is to find when you are in the really big sizes.

I’ve watched Stacy and Clinton for years and see them pull outfits together all the time.  They just don’t do it from my closet or the clothes that are readily available.  I’m always stumbling at trying to figure out what I have that’s appropriate, that isn’t too hot or too casual, that I can change easily with a scarf or some other snazzy accessory.  Those aren’t sitting around the house because I’m bad at figuring them out, too.  I’ve never been good at or particularly interested in girl stuff.

Although I don’t want to be subjected to the shredding that happens to people in the 360 mirror when S&C tear their existing clothes to pieces, I really could use someone to help me how to make it work for ME, at my current size. It’s hard to not be able to go into stores, or even buy from catalogs, and have things fit well.  But for me to really know if they do, I guess I need to understand what that means for my body.

I need someone to tell me all this with honesty and caring, while not also saying, “you know, it would be a lot easier if you were thinner.”  Because I already know that.  And I know that gaining weight or just redistributing the body shape is the answer, but that isn’t going to help me find pants for right now that don’t look like clown rejects. I wish I had a magic wand to make Tim Gunn appear and “make it so.”

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4 thoughts on “My Clothes are Hopeless

  1. I don’t think it’s ever easy, no matter what size you are. If I hadn’t stumbled on a guardian angel on my last shopping trip, I would have left disappointed and sad and convinced it was my weird body and not the clothes I was picking out for myself.

    Maybe a personal shopper? It might help to have a second opinion, someone who hasn’t already decided that this or that “will never work” for you.

  2. Well, it depends really what sort of look you’re going for, but there are clothes out there that fit, I promise!

    If you haven’t looked into it, Catherine’s http://www.catherines.com/pagebuilder/ is a good place for business style clothing for BBLs (Big & Beautiful Ladies!) I’ve gotten a lot of “dressy” pieces there for my wardrobe. My best friend, who’s currently in size 24s, get most of her clothing there, and she’s in a professional office.

    If you’re looking for something a little more flashy, I highly recommend Torrid http://www.torrid.com/torrid/index.jsp Keeping in mind that my #1 complaint with Torrid is that the clothes are expensive, but not always good quality. If you’ve got a shop in your area, I’d recommend going in, rather than ordering online. Some of their materials are cheap, or poorly made. Some is really nice, however, and they look cute, which is a definite bonus.

    Lane Bryant is the staple for larger sizes, however, my problem with them is expense. Their clothing is about 50% more pricey than a similar item you might get another store. On the other hand, I’ve found that their new sizes for jeans and pants REALLY work for those carrying extra fat in strange places.

    One of the things I found really helped when I was trying to put together outfits is buying the whole thing. Look at the model in the catalog, or the manikins, and then get the whole look, including jewelry, belts, and other accessories. People who put together the “look” tend to know what they’re doing as far as accessorizing goes.

    Good luck!

  3. Totally feelin’ ya on this one. I am right there with you. Too big for any of my clothes to fit comfortably, not wanting to spend to buy clothes that do fit, and when I try to do it, can’t find anything to fit anyway. I suspect from your description that we are built quite similarly.

    If it’s jeans you want, I have had great luck with Talbots boot cut jeans. They are currently having a buy one thing, get 2nd 1/2 price, so it’s a good time to try ordering.

    I recently ordered some sweaters that are loose on the bottom – sort of empire waisted, couple of buttons on top, loose on bottom – from CJ Banks (the plus size division of Christopher & Banks). They are always having sales and specials, and I think their things are pretty reasonably priced. Check quicktoclick or other sites for promotion/coupon codes.

    Good luck on your search!

  4. I’m just now getting to read last month’s issue of O. It’s all about clothing for the plus size women and they have two pages of various suppliers. I’m in the same boat as Denise. I’ve just decided to go through my closet and bite the bullet — take things away that do not fit that well and put out only the things that fit for now. I’m hoping to fine tune it to “things I LIKE and FIT.”

    Tim Gunn’s show (Wed or Thur) is a bit like Clinton & Stacy but he has women who do have some size issues too. (Not significant size issues but still….) I’m looking at his list of basics for women. That’s my blueprint.

    It sucks to be short, I know. Hang in there.

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