It’s like a switch was thrown inside of me. Instead of treading water in an endless spiral of griping about being fat and eating food I didn’t really want or need, I’m going somewhere – and for the first time in a long time, it’s not backwards.
I rejoined Weight Watchers, yes. But I already knew all the WW drill, as well as every other diet and foodplan option on the planet. Okay, maybe I missed one or two. Knowing the information, the reasons, the medical complications, and consequences of failure aren’t enough until you actually want to do something to change.
I don’t have a timeframe or even a real weight goal. Right now it’s about getting comfortable with making changes and then following through on them long enough for them to become new habits. Little things and big things that you know as well as I do — journal, eat less, healthy food groups, moving more.
But it’s also about being balanced and not feeling deprived. I don’t deal well with that and don’t have to go there; there are plenty of options that let me feel satisfied and happy as long as I take the time to explore them. One thing that’s critical for me is the balance between what I eat for lunch and what’s for dinner. Lunch is my most social time, when I go out with friends and colleagues, and I want to be able to have choices at a variety of places we’re likely to visit. Voila! I do. In exchange for eating a larger lunch, I eat a lighter evening meal. Planning the night before lets me do both.
Obsessing over food never was healthy for me and it feels paradoxically as though I’m being more aware and careful while also not thinking about it every waking minute. The weight will come off in due time – but first the attitude had to change. It has. And it feels good.