Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

I’ve Been More Interested in Living My Life Lately than Writing About It


I wrote this last Sunday but somehow it stayed as a draft rather than publish to the blog. Oops 🙂

Buddha and a child

As of last weekend I’ve lost almost 10 lbs and am feeling in the zone of following my plan.  More than that, I actually WANT to follow it which makes things so much easier than when I was fighting with myself every step of the way.

I’ve been working with Weight Watcher points for so long that reading recipes and food labels doesn’t require major brain twisting to understand whether something is a good choice or not at any given time.  The best part is that I don’t have to give up anything, just get comfortable with eating less while balancing what I actually do eat.

It’s a quiet time of year if you work in academia and especially in a law school, where there is no summer school.  The building is deserted of the usual hustle and bustle of students and staff members are taking vacations so the office is emptier, too.  Economic uncertainties with budget cuts and potential layoffs have made this a stressful spring and it’s a relief to see this fiscal year coming to a close.

The Maids are coming to deep-clean my apartment the day before my parents arrive later this month.  In a way it feels like cheating; I know how to clean and really should be doing it better than I do.  I just hate it (that summer as a hotel maid kind of backfired).  On the other hand, they send a team of 4 people who clean everywhere at the same time, including the floors on their hands and knees.  My knees can no more contemplate that than fly to the moon.  So the apartment will be sparkling clean – and as I told my mom, I’m not doing it for HER, I’m doing it for ME.  I think it’s probably a bargain and a service I may want to outsource a few times a year.

Tessie is waking up earlier and earlier, along with the sun which starts streaming light way earlier than I want to get up.  Yesterday she sat on my back, played with my hair, and meowed at 5am so I’d get up and keep her company – and feed her, of course.  It was not my idea of the best way to wake up on a weekend day and today was not much better.  Good thing I’m not on vacation or I’d be really cranky.  She desperately needs to have her claws clipped but I’m trying to hold out until closer to my parents’ visit so she doesn’t accidentally puncture the Aerobed if she happens to jump on it. Although we plan to keep the door closed, she is tricky so we need to expect anything.

Today is a quiet day with chores and errands to run and probably a walk outside in the warm sunshine.   Maybe a nap, if the kitty will allow it.


5 thoughts on “I’ve Been More Interested in Living My Life Lately than Writing About It

  1. You earned the money to pay the maids so I don’t see it as cheating. I see it as an even nicer treat to yourself than a pedicure. I’m happy to hear you’re feeling good — other than the kitty wakeups.

  2. Yeah, life has been rather busy the last few days and in my opinion, a bit boring. I’m not very introspective at all these days. I’m glad you see hiring the maids as a good thing FOR you. I hope you remember you’re important!

    I’m sorry that the cat is not recognizing what time it is in the morning. Cats are like that! Mine runs down the stairs first thing in the morning even if I’m no where near the door/stairs.

  3. I’ve missed hearing from you, but am all about living life…gotta do that before you can write about it! I’m feeling the same as you this week as I’ve gotten back into a good eating space…it’s nice to WANT to do it rather than struggle. 🙂

    Congrats on the 10 pounds…that rocks!

  4. Congratulations on your 10 pound weight loss!

  5. I love coming to this site. I feel as though we’re old friends.

    I’m so pleased to find you in a good place right now. Oh how we work to get to those days, right?

    I’ve come to a place where I’m not fighting with my desires anymore. I realize that I’m so blessed to have my appetite, my fully functioning tastebuds, and wonderful foods from our earth to enjoy. I take a moment to thank our creator for providing me with these things. I can honor my creator by not abusing these gifts that I’ve been given.. Actually, I’m looking for a little prayer, or trying to create a short one that I can think of each time I bring a lovely drink of coffee , or a beautiful ripe strawberry to my lips.

    Not too long ago, I was eating anything just because it was there. Then I became so troubled realizing how greedy and wasteful I was behaving. Like a spoiled, ingrateful child. Eating the way I did, was no better than going out in someone’s garden just to smash and destroy all of the produce, or killing animals for entertainment. That’s exactly what I was doing. It doesn’t matter what the food is. If it was a fruit smoothie, or cake, it was still the same mentality. Not only was I wasting the food, but having been given the gifts of appetite and tastebuds, I was trashing those too. Since chubby childhood, I always regarded those gifts as curses. I heading toward 60 years old now. It’s too bad that I spent so much time hating what was actually beautiful. We’re always taught to “watch out for your appetite” when in fact we should be appreciating it and nurturing it. The same with food. We should be appreciating the abundance but instead we’re guarding ourselves at every turn.

    So, to close my comment, I will just say, let’s give our creator thanks every time we feel hunger come on, look forward to our food, and enjoy the taste. All of these things are right on target, working healthfully and just the way they are intended to.

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