Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind

Counting down the days

8 Comments

Bari-BuddyMy “pre-op to do list” is covered with scratched out entries, with a few left to do on my Wed. day off.   I’ve stocked up on 5 million flavors of Crystal Light and Ocean Spray sugar free drinks, and vacuumed and cleaned bathrooms.  Dusting and cleaning the kitchen comes Wed.  My sorority pin is cleaned and will be mailed tomorrow to my old chapter.

Prescriptions have been turned into crushable or liquid forms.  I ordered new winter boots and shoes.  Food that I know I won’t eat has been given to the food pantry (if sealed) and mostly tossed if open.  My glasses were adjusted.  Bills are paid.  Tubs of protein are on the way, and my Bari-Bear is ready for me to hug tight when movement and pain are hard.

Today I had this plan of having one last meal of pancakes because I love them and haven’t had any in a long time.  I checked the menu and knew what I would order.  Except when it came down to it, my tummy didn’t want it and I decided the rest of me didn’t, either.  I was frankly afraid I would be sick on all the sweetness.  I’ve passed multiple ice cream opportunities and didn’t even blink for one last taste; I just didn’t want them.  I did opt for lunch at McDonald’s but a single hamburger, small fries, and water didn’t blow my food plan for the day, and I’m satisfied. I’m not eating low-carb all the time, but definitely most of it.

My two weeks of clear liquids will mark a clear break from old habits, and I’m almost there.  Thank God.  This waiting time has been way too long.  Am I worried?  No, but I am anxious about dealing with it alone.  I have family and tons of friends who care about me, but I’m a long way from most of them, and I know I will be in a lot of pain when I come home – if not from my stomach, then from my poor pitiful knee.  I will be fine, but I just want to get on with it.

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8 thoughts on “Counting down the days

  1. I know, I am worried about you being home alone. I hope everything goes well on Thursday and that you have a quick recovery.

  2. Jen, I’m not completely alone. Some colleagues who live nearby have offered to come if I need anything/one or just to be company. And my next-door neighbors, both of them, are doctors and they know about the surgery and have offered to help if I need them. When in doubt, there’s always 911. But I’d really appreciate some prayers.

  3. Anne, if it’s any comfort, I felt very little pain once I was home. The first day home was pretty uncomfortable, the second day started a trajectory that went nowhere but up. I had expected much worse and was pleasantly surprised. Just keep getting your liquids in.

    I know what you mean about wanting to get on with it. I couldn’t wait for my liquid-diet pre-op phase to begin, then couldn’t wait for the surgery date. That is, until a couple of days before surgery, then I started to have second thoughts… All of it, including the second thoughts, is pretty typical. Continuing to send you good thoughts.

  4. Sounds like you are ready!

    Sending good thoughts your way all week!

  5. I’m thinking about you this week — exciting times coming!

    PLEASE do not be too proud to ask for help if you need it post- or pre-surgery. People really do like to help. I have had to learn this — I’m not a one to really like to ask for help — but sometimes you’ve gotta suck it up and do it! 🙂

  6. I’m so excited for you — I would feel the same way about the two weeks of liquids. You have been very thoughtful about these decisions and I know you will be okay. You have got some good back-up assistance in case you need anything (and I know you will ask for help if you do). Please call any of us if you are lonely, bored or feel like crap — we’re here for you. I’d be happy to come up there if you need someone. 🙂

  7. Hi Anne,

    One of my dearest friends had it done over the summer with a good outcome, so I’m thinking about it now. It sounds like you have prepared well. I hope your procedure goes quickly and as painlessly as possible. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.

  8. Thanks, everyone, for the support. Clara, thanks for sharing your personal experience about the post-op recovery period. I wanted to be prepared for the worst, but really want it to be more like your post-op time. I’m as prepared as I can be and ready for tomorrow.

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