Feeling the Covid fatigue

Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia

When I’m stressed, I either eat or shop. I’ve been trying not to eat, although I’ve had a couple of iffy days lately, but I’m going great guns on the shopping. Ask me about velvet pumpkins, my new computer, and leggings. I went a little nuts on leggings.

No, I haven’t lost any more weight and in fact, have gained back a few pounds. But since I know I didn’t eat as many calories as would make those pounds actually stay attached to my body, I’m not particularly worried. But it must be stopped and I’m doing it.

Physical activity has come to almost a crashing halt. I can walk just fine in a store holding on to a cart, and try to do that several times a week, although that does open me up to the “Oh, we must buy something in this store” mentality. But the bad knee is very sore when I try to do other things, and now I think I pulled a groin muscle doing something or other. Clearly I need lessons in how to stretch better so I don’t do this crazy stuff to myself. It is completely logical that this lack of movement is the reason for my basically stagnant weight situation. I’ve heard nothing from the guy who measured me for the super expensive custom knee brace; I think it’s time to order a cheaper one from online to see if it could help.

There is good news, though. My A1C has dropped from 6.1 to 5.3! Still higher than I’d like, but way better (and finally under pre-diabetic) for the first time in years. I thought I’d get updated cholesterol and triglyceride levels with the last blood work but surprise! they didn’t do those. I don’t know why. My arm was there and filling up blood vials nicely. They could have taken more!

But then there is bad news. The back is still a problem. The left side neurotomy was quite effective and only twinges pain a little now and then. But the right side, the bad side, is only about 40% better. Maybe 50%. When I get in the car, I can get about 1/3 of the way to town before it starts to hurt instead of 1/2 mile. And I can do things without wanting to cry. But I’m not getting in a car anytime soon to go on a trip or just get “windshield time,” as my brother calls it, because it hurts.

So instead of doing much, I’m sitting in my chair after work with ice rotating on various body parts, doing gentle stretching, and working on puzzles with the cats. I’ve noticed that my temper flash point is very low and my patience for criticism and correction is almost non-existent.

I’m tired of sore body parts. I’m tired of coronavirus and people who don’t wear masks. I’m tired of being stressed. I want my scalp psoriasis to calm down. And I want Purina to NOT discontinue Emma’s favorite food. And I would really, really like for the election to be over.

Did I mention I put a Biden sign in my yard?

I keep almost falling

I almost fell twice yesterday, once walking down my driveway and once in the bathroom. On Wednesday I almost fell in the parking lot at the eye doctor, tripping over some weird metal thing sticking out of the concrete. That one was a close call and I only avoided actually falling because the lot was tightly packed and I fell into a close-by SUV.

I don’t like it. I don’t like that I can’t trust my body to keep me up. I don’t like having to walk looking down at my feet ALL THE TIME in hopes I don’t stumble over something the size of a twig. I don’t like that this knee that was so strong and trustworthy is now so unstable.

The kneecap is wobbling around because I tore the MCL and some other stuff on the inside of the knee. The solution is to wear a brace to help keep that stable but the custom-made one maybe out of my price range ($900 and up) and not paid for by Medicare, so I’m looking at other options made for fluffy people like me. But it’s clear I can’t pretend I don’t need it. It doesn’t hurt as much as it did earlier but pain isn’t the problem, instability is.

I don’t like it. And I don’t like the idea of using a cane when I’m feeling stronger and more healthy except for this stupid knee. I want to go take walks but am afraid of falling just going to the mailbox, so how can I trust myself on a walk? So a cane or walking stick is going to be needed even if I don’t like it. And I don’t.

New Favorite Lunch

I like to eat a bigger meal at lunch time rather than dinner but don’t want to fix a MEAL, if you know what I mean. I like something hot that I can zap in the microwave and have ready to eat in minutes after I get home. Salads just don’t do it for me, at least not at lunch.

My new favorite lunch doesn’t really have a name, and is actually an old meal that I used to eat often back in my lapband days. I kind of forgot about it but found a can of organic refried black beans (have to be black beans, not regular refried beans) in my pantry and it all came back. Since I had all of the other ingredients in the fridge, I put them together and have been full and satisfied all afternoon.

4 oz. shredded chicken (great way to use leftovers)
1/2 C. refried black beans
1 oz shredded cheese (I use full-fat Mexican cheese blend)
1 tub Wholly Guacamole (because it’s portion controlled)

Layer the chicken, refried beans, and cheese in a low, flat microwave-safe container. Cook on high for 2 minutes. Top with guacamole and salsa to taste. Eat. Also tasty eaten with tortilla chips but they’re not at my house because they are too addictive.

Easy peasy and oh, so tasty! Tons of protein, fiber, and flavor. Nutrition values will vary depending on brands used. The only thing I don’t usually have around are refried beans and now that I remember how much I like this, that’s easy to fix.