To Do Lists With Lots of Things

It’s been a rocky month or two, food wise. Oh, I know all the things to do. I just don’t want to do them. I want to eat things that have no business being in my house but inexplicably are. Well, of course there is an explanation: I bought them. A year ago I wouldn’t have been tempted by them, flying high on successfully transforming my eating and my body. But that’s come to a standstill and I’ve been up and down the same few pounds – which seems worse when you weigh every day than it probably actually is.

So what’s going on? I’m stressed on multiple levels. And I’m comparing myself to friends or even strangers in my Facebook weight loss groups who are doing great. I know it’s not a competition and that comparisons are odious. We’re each on our own journey with ups and downs that don’t match up with another person’s ups and downs. But it’s depressing to see them doing well when I’m not. There are a couple of options: eat better, own up to what I’m doing and stop beating on myself, stop following the Facebook groups if they are making me nutty.

But mostly I think I’m bored. I’m really, really bored. I’m tired of wearing masks and staying alone, but I’m also not quite ready to get in groups and party. I’m tired of eating the same foods all the time. No one is making me do that, I can make different choices, but I’m not doing it because same is easy and I know how to fit those foods into the calorie allotment I have each day. I’m ready for a vacation from work which I haven’t had in longer than I can remember. But I don’t know what I’m going to do with it other than not go.

I like lists and structure and plans. So I’m making some to help me move forward and feel in control.

Things Already Done or Scheduled:

• Unfollowed the two weight loss Facebook Groups until after Easter; will reassess then
• Threw out snacky food in the house
• Made haircut appointment
• Scheduled Mah Jongg group lunch and game day
• Scheduled landscape designer visit tomorrow to come up with redesign plan
• Scheduled Pain Management procedure for SI joint injection and right knee nerve burn

Things to Do in the Next Week:

• Work out menu options for meals that can be swapped out.
• Eat three different breakfasts and three different lunches during the week.
• Make a date to go to visit my brother at the ranch in the next month.
• Schedule times three days a week to go to the gym.
• Schedule a session with the gym staff to get oriented on new equipment.
• Check the April calendar at work and decide when I can take three days off to make an extra long weekend.
• Weed closet of clothes and jewelry to take to consignment shop.
• Take 2 boxes of papers to be shredded.

Other Things To Get Done:

• Call electrician to fix broken outlet and check out porch ceiling fan
• Get front exterior faucet fixed
• Buy and plant flowers in pots for front of house
• Talk with TIAA to rebalance portfolio
• Clean carpets
• Take cats to the vet for shots