I had a shower today – my first one in almost a month. Words can’t tell you how normalizing it was to be able to do that, to get my body and my hair washed, and to not need an army of people helping me do it. I think it was my best shower ever. The difference between today and last week when they asked me about getting a shower is that I’m no longer using the wooden transfer board to move from one surface to another. It was super scary trying to figure out how to do that in the shower, even with grab bars. But now I’m doing my transfers using a walker instead, and I have more control over where and how I move.
I spent most of PT time this morning practicing standing up. I walked 52 feet, but I really wanted to practice standing because I’d had some trouble in the morning getting dressed. I’d lost the rhythm. There’s lots to remember: suck in stomach, squeeze the butt, push off from either side of my body, reach for the walker, push down into the feet, thrust up the bottom so I’m fully standing – and then stay up. I’ve been counting 1-2-3 to get up but Veronica said I could just stand. Huh. I like counting it off better but it’s smoother if I just get up.
My quads and thighs are quivering and oh so tired from all the work outs they’re getting. I have written instructions from Veronica on exercises to do on the weekend when I don’t have therapy – and to use as the basis for my continuing therapy after I move, in addition to whatever they give me at Meadow Lake.
I heard two important things this week. Monday Veronica told me that I’d proven that I COULD walk. The muscles aren’t damaged, they just need to be retrained and reminded of how to do this, and then given lots of practice to get stronger. I need confidence in them, and I’m getting there slowly. When I got here, I couldn’t walk so this was huge.
The other thing was something the case manager told me: I’m still making progress, I haven’t plateaued yet. I want that point to be a long way off. As long as I’m progressing, even in tiny steps, it’s worth the effort. That’s now a mantra, that I’m making progress and haven’t plateaued.
And in other news, I’m closing on the sale of my Emerald Bay home tomorrow. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to the house and to Daddy’s big tree in the front yard, but I have memories of the house with people and fun times. That’s a better way to remember it than an empty house that will belong to someone else tomorrow. I hope they love it as much as we have these last 36 years.