It’s no longer hard to stand up. I’ll bet you don’t hear that every day, do you? But I realized yesterday that I can stand up pretty much anywhere, without holding on to the walker or table, and that I’m no longer talking myself through the steps of how to do it: “scoot to the edge of the chair, line up the feet below the knees, tuck in the butt, suck in the tummy, lean forward, press down with the arms and move up on the count of 1-2-3.” Not doing that whole routine in my brain means that I’ve relearned the steps and they’ve become ingrained.
Back in August, this was such a very hard thing to learn and it remained hard to do for months. I had to rehearse the steps in my head, first dropping the count to 3, but still mentally checking off the other things. But the big thing is trust. You see, I didn’t trust that it would actually WORK and that I’d be able to stand up just because I wanted to.
I trust it now. And I stand up a lot, probably not as much as you do but certainly more than I did even a month ago. Each time it gets easier and I feel more normal. Sometimes I even forget that it used to be hard. Somehow this feels really big.
Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind 