Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind


2 Comments

Day One Again

Went to WW this morning and am up 1.6 lbs over the last two weeks.  Since I was eating pretty much everything not nailed down, it’s not at all a surprise.  I confess that I stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way home and had breakast of a coffee roll and a small bottle of OJ — but I accounted for that and still managed to only use 1 flex point for the day.

My big accomplishment was not going into the grocery store.  I didn’t need to go, having made two different runs (at different stores, for different things) and a trip to the farm stand for fresh local veggies.  But this morning I wanted more more more of something snacky.  I drove to the store and parked in the lot, but sat there for a few minutes before getting out of the car.  From somewhere I found the wherewithall to just decide not to go in today. If I entered the store, I knew I would not be able to not buy something I would regret later.  So instead I just started the car, turned around and went home.

I did not starve.  I ate a big healthy salad with edamame, vegetables, and protein, plus cherries for lunch.  Dinner was a pork chop, corn on the cob, big fat Canadian tomatoes, and a bowl of fresh strawberries with pudding yogurt for dessert.  A rich fudgy low-fat fudge bar made a satisfying snack.  I’m floating away in water and Crystal Light but am full and ready to stop eating.  Food for tomorrow is planned out.

I’m just taking this one day at a time, remembering my goal of 10% of my current weight off by Christmas.  It’s doable.  Today was Day One.

Advertisements


5 Comments

Recommitting to Weight Watchers

Weight Watcher ChickensI’ve been seriously debating whether to stop paying for Weight Watchers meetings since I don’t seem to be very focused on actually following the program. On the one hand it feels like a waste of money – and on the other hand, I know that if I had abandoned the weekly weigh in, I would have gained back every pound already.

So I guess that’s a no-brainer.

The ideal solution is for me to find the focus again so I actually do the program. It works if I follow it and it gives me flexibility and options. Right now I’m operating on “emotional eating” mode, something I’ve perfected in my quest to fill pain and stress with comfort food. How’s it working for me? Not very well, actually.

My former WW leader Arlene used to tell us a story about a friend of hers who was dealing with a confluence of crises in her life, and yet was able to stay on program. When asked how she did it, she said that the only thing she could control in her life right then was food. Everything else was out of her hands. So she controlled what she could and it helped her with some structure and kept her from careening around, hammered by all the other stuff happening to and around her.

Eating whatever I want isn’t helping me with the stress currently on my plate. Neither is turning into a couch potato. I can control my food even while I’m dealing with some stress points. I can add in some walking, especially now that the time has changed and there’s more light at the end of the day. I can drink another bottle of water while at work instead of another bottle of Diet Coke.

I think I’ll put on my walking shoes and get dressed for work and put some of that into play today.