Feeling Fragile Today

Did I mention that I fell again this week? This time it wasn’t my knee or a balance problem. Instead, on a beautiful snowy day (which was really lovely for this transplanted New Englander to have), I drove home and promptly slipped on a puddle of slush and fell with a crash to the garage floor. The very cold, very wet concrete floor. My head jerked, I smacked the left elbow on the golf cart, and hit hard on my right hip. Yup, that side. The same one with the neuropathy in the foot and the torn MCL. Now my whole right side is very stiff and sore and sitting for any length of time, even on a soft cushy pillow, is very uncomfortable. Falling on carpet was a lot easier. Note to self: Work on not falling at all.

So my body is feeling fragile. My ego is, too, because I lost an election to the club/HOA board. I knew going into it that there was at least a 50% chance I wouldn’t win: there were 6 candidates for 3 positions. And honestly, I’m happy that I’m not going to have to deal with actually being on the board for the next three years. But there is still some hurt that I lost, though I’m in excellent company with the other losers. Enough hurt that the last bits of my chocolate stash are gone today. Note to self: Don’t run again. Lesson learned.

And my soul is fragile today as the president was impeached for inciting the insurrection and attack on the Capitol last week. They did so today in what is a crime scene. I am terribly afraid of what is going to happen next. I’m baffled by the many who still believe that the election was unfair just because he said so without any evidence. I’m feeling so lonely here in East Texas, feeling like a lone Maine blueberry in a great big bright red cherry pie. So I watch TV news, knowing I’m watching too much of it but unable to look away. Because I don’t want the world to blow up around me without my understanding why.