Random Thoughts of a Disordered Mind


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Nooming along

As of this morning, I am three pounds away from reaching my next goal of 50 lbs gone. Which means, if you’re keeping track, that I’ve lost 47 pounds since January 1st. I had a little hiccup and gain of 3 lbs which in the scheme of things isn’t that much, but it’s taken me another 3 weeks to get rid of them. I want to hit my goal of 50 lbs by July 24th, which is my birthday.

I’m still following Noom but admit I’m not exactly doing it the way I did when I started. I still weigh every morning which is actually a good thing; I don’t get freaked out by what’s there, just log it as information. And I still take measurements on the first of the month (for the record, I’m down 20.5 inches overall). And I log my food. But I don’t always read the articles which are still interesting but take more time than the ones at the beginning.

And I really try to get my steps in. That was very hard when everything was locked down for covid and the gym was closed as well. It has reopened but I haven’t tried it yet because I sprained my knee and have an insanely painful lower back right now. Just walking is as much as I can do. But this week I did actually get 8K steps one day and almost that much the next day, from walking around large stores like Sam’s. Up and down the aisles, moving fast because I don’t really want or need to buy anything in most of them. My Sam’s trips are limited to when I have prescriptions to pick up; then I get extra stuff as long as I’m there, things like berries, apples, broccoli (always broccoli) and maybe English muffins or meat.

I’m also not really doing much with my Noom group because it’s annoying to see so many posts from other group members who ride horses, do aerobics, and other energetic things that I don’t do. I have a LOT to lose, really more than anyone that I know of in my group. Mostly it’s because I’m in 2 unofficial Facebook groups for Noomers, one of them for people with 100+ pounds to lose. We have different issues and time frames, and I’m finding that one to be the one where I get the most support and can contribute.

Maybe I’m just feeling like a normal person. Normal people don’t eat a whole pizza for dinner after snacking all afternoon and noshing on donuts in the morning. And I’m not doing that anymore. I’ve learned to divide my calories really into 3 big groups + a snack, and then I’m ready to stop. I’ve learned how to tell when I’m hungry and when I’m bored. I’m drinking tons of water and am down to 1 soda/day and no coffee. I’m really hyper aware of not referring to things as “treats” or “cheating” because there is no such thing in Noom. Chocolate, while delicious, isn’t a treat now, it’s an occasional food that I fit into my plan. I’d really rather have a French Dip sandwich and enjoy it for lunch and then eat vegetables for dinner.

What I am is balanced. Part of why that’s happening is that these last pounds have come off so slowly, giving me time for my brain to catch up with my body. When I lost fast in the past, that was very hard to do because I thought I was the same person. Well, I was. But I’m not now. I’m more aware and prepared. I haven’t faced big challenges like parties but I’m confident that I can deal with them when they arise. Go Noom! Go me.


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Nooming in Isolation

One of the things I’m grateful for while under COVID Stay Home orders is that I’m on Noom and have enough time under my belt for it to have become a way of life before isolation started. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, and I know it’s far easier for me than for someone with others to cook for, or who are medical professionals now working insane schedules under intense pressure.

I asked my Goal Specialist to reset me to Week 1 when I realized I was blowing off DOING article work instead of just reading. I also wished that I’d known to start taking notes and journaling at the beginning of Noom and not two months in. I now have a beautiful journal at my side, with pen attached, and take notes as I work through the articles. Blogging is also a form of journaling but I’m making notes to myself in writing as I go.

The world has changed since January and COVID-related articles are included now. The basic ones are the same, but others talk about how to maintain mental health, making yourself a priority, and readjusting goals under changed circumstances. Sometimes working on behaviors and habits are more important than getting in a big workout (not that I ever did a big workout, but other people did).

Reading articles, planning meals, and logging my food provide a structure that continues what I was doing back when things were normal. They’re not things I’ve imposed on myself because of isolation, but they do help me in an otherwise fluid time. When our office was closed and I was working from home, I got work done but during different hours than in a pre-COVID work day, and I found myself getting all snacky and reaching for things that by themselves are not a problem but are when eaten in a fog.

My goals for last week and this week are to eliminate the snacking except as planned out, and go back to what worked in my Noom early days: sitting in early morning with a bottle of water and logging what I expect to eat at all my meals and snacks BEFORE I actually eat them. That gives me huge structure and a calm. I can plan for a Healthy Choice Fudge bar or a slider basket delivered from the club when I want to work in something special. When I follow this pattern, I feel in control and I lose. Win-win!

Every two weeks I make a huge batch of chunky applesauce in the crockpot to eat as a snack or mix with yogurt or oatmeal. I bought 5 lbs of 90% fat free ground beef at Sam’s on Friday when I went to pick up prescriptions, and will be making meat sauce today (love my crockpot!), as well as two batches of taco meat for the freezer and a package of browned meat with onions for some future recipe. I also have a rotisserie chicken to pull apart with meat for salads; some of that will go to the freezer, too, joining lots of meat, veggies, and fruit.

One thing I’m having trouble with is getting in my steps. While I’m not a gym rat, I really was enjoying being more active, and I miss at least getting in all my steps. Usually at work I’d make laps around the sanctuary a few times in a morning which helped, and would go to a big box store to go up and down the aisles even if I didn’t need to buy anything. I do better holding on to a cart or a treadmill than just walking on the streets of Emerald Bay, but I’m still getting 5K+ steps most days, even with flaring sciatica. Go me. I’ll be glad to have the gym again when it’s safe to go.

I know myself and know how I’ve reacted in the past to enforced stay home time for blizzards and surgical recovery. Usually I’d be eating all day long, feeling bloated and lethargic, and disappointed with myself. This much longer COVID time is different. I’m eating healthy, tracking my food, building in movement and meditation, and providing structure without making myself crazy.

Noom works for me, with daily readings and accountability steps. And as of this morning, I’ve lost 41 lbs since January, 8 lbs since COVID became something to factor. I’ve got this.


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Three Months Later

I now have three months of Noom under my belt – but that belt fits differently now. I weigh every day but on the first day of each month, I also take measurements. It’s a non-scale way to measure change.

And as of today, I’ve lost 36.6 lbs and 13.5 inches. I’m down two sizes in clothes. Even jewelry fits differently; necklaces are longer, bracelets actually dangle instead of strangle. Shoes will be next.

My closet is mostly purged of things that are too big and I’ve added clothes that fit or will soon be wearable from eBay and strategic purchases before we were in Stay-Home mode. I even have some Lands End pants from my working days that now fit.

Right now under the stress of COVID-19 and restricted movements, the only thing I can really control is what I put in my mouth. I am so very grateful that Noom has given me tools to change how I eat and how I relate to food. It’s not a diet, it’s a new way of eating. And it works. Who knew?


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People are Noticing

When you’re as large as I am, you have to lose a lot of weight before anyone notices. But several times this week I’ve had people look at me twice, and comment on the weight loss. Which, to be fair, I’ve advertised on Facebook as part of being accountable for what I’m doing. At least six friends have followed up privately to get more information about Noom after seeing my results.

It’s been two months now, and Nooming is normal. I’ve navigated parties at the club while staying on plan, and eat out regularly with friends. We even went for Chinese this week and I brought home a BIG container of hot and sour soup, which clears the sinuses for not a lot of calories. I feel good figuring out how to enjoy things I like while not going overboard. Some things are still off limits, not from Noom but because I haven’t figured out how to really work them in. Makes me a bit sick to think about what I ate on a regular basis before begining this program.

And as of this morning, I’m down 31 pounds, which is 10% of my starting weight. Since you are smart people, that will tell you where I started even if I’m embarassed to put the actual number down in public. Anyway, this was my first goal, and I’m there. The next one is 19 lbs away – 50 lbs, putting me at the weight I was when my lapband was removed in 2014.

I’m shopping in the closet now, although I don’t have that much stuff in smaller sizes. I ruthlessly weeded out clothes before moving here and some of what I brought was donated about 2 years ago when I gave up on the idea of ever being smaller. But I do have some things and am regularly wearing one size smaller than I did in January. I have to – I’ve lost 9 inches so the old stuff is just hanging. Since at some point hopefully soon there will be a season change as well, I’m just making do for now. But Catherines had a sale and I picked up some things I know will fit one or two sizes down. There are always thrift and consignment stores, and eBay is great if you know sizes and brands.

Oh yes, one other thing – I bought a new car last weekend. After 11 years with my beloved Prius, I now have a candy-apple red Honda HR-V. I’d wanted something taller than the Prius, which is very low to the ground; that’s hard in a state where everyone drives giant trucks and SUVs. It was not only getting hard to get down into the Prius, it was a safety hazard for me not to be able to see anything.

Getting a red car was necessary; I’ve had them for 35 years and didn’t want to break my streak (14 years with the Nissan Sentra, 10 with the Saturn, and 11 with the Prius). Plus I can find in parking lots! This one is much easier for me to get into than the Rav4, Forester, or CRV and I do sit taller, so it’s a win-win all around. One of my neighbors told me this morning that this one suited me, and it does. I’m naming her “Carmen.”


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It’s been a month now

I’ve been Nooming now for one month, and as of today, I’m down 21 lbs. Yup, you read that right. Twenty One pounds in 5 weeks and 4 days.

Thursday I went to the gym on the corner, the one that I pay for every month but never visited (you know how that works), and had a fitness assessment. At my weight and with my physical limits, I knew better than to launch into a full-blown exercise plan without being checked first. I know how to use the cardio equipment and the weights, but the back, sciatica, and foot with neuropathy made it crucial to not be stupid.

They dug up the last assessment I did there, from June 2017. At the time I got on the scale in my socks; this time I stepped on shoes and all. Taking them off is too much work just for a scale. My true reading comes at home; as long as I’m consistent at the gym, it will work. But in any case, I’m down 23 lbs from 2017. My BMI is down 3 points. Percentage of body fat is down. Resting pulse rate is in the “fit” category.

Best of all was the “6 minute walk” test. In 2017, I almost collapsed half way through it. This time I made it all the way through without having respiratory distress. Six minutes may not seem like much, but to someone who mostly sits all day, it’s big.

I now have a 6- week workout plan that is very modest and doable: go the gym 2-3 times/week for 30 minutes, working up to 3-4 times/week. Walk for 10 minutes, do the NuStep for 10 minutes, and the arm bike for 10 minutes (5 forwards, 5 backwards). After that, I’m to check back for adjustments and what to add in. I can do this.

I bought a little clip-on pedometer which is easier to carry around than having the phone in my pocket all the time to track steps. I update Noom on steps at the end of the day. Instead of trying to consolidate steps, I make more trips from one end of the house to another, from one part of the church to another on work days. In fact, I make laps down to Fellowship Hall and back up to the foyer of the church and back again several times during my mornings. So I’m moving more – I was up to 7,500 steps yesterday which was amazing.

Food doesn’t seem particularly hard, though having a box of donuts outside the office door is awfully tempting. But I have grapes and clementines to snack on and have protein, veggies & carbs at every meal. No ice cream, no cookies, no chips, no wine, very little bread. I can have ALL of that if I want to, I just really don’t want them.

I sort of feel like a commercial for Noom when people ask me about it. I’ve hated people telling me about their diets in the past when I wasn’t ready to work on my own eating, so have been reluctant to bring it up on my own. Plus I’ve failed a lot in the past – lost motivation, lost focus, lost energy. But I’m not on a diet. I’m learning to eat like a normal person – because I *am* a normal person, just one that’s too fluffy. But that’s changing.

Off to the gym. Go me!