Today is my birthday. Last July I celebrated my 65th birthday with friends including three others who also turned 65 in the month of July. But when I saw the picture, I wanted to throw up.
Yes, it was a bad hair day. But more, I looked and felt like the Michelin Man, puffy and round and definitely not needing cake. I hate having my picture taken, like many people, but have learned that unless I agree to it, I’m missing from the memories of friends and family. This one, though, made me cry. It still does, a year later.
I’d like to say that seeing it last summer convinced me to do something about the obvious weight problem, but it didn’t. I was in major denial about my ability to lose and keep anything off, based on a lifetime of huge success (102 lbs, 114 lbs, 145 lbs) followed by spectacular failure and regaining. The yo-yo dieting was ultimately worse than just being hugely fat, or that’s what I thought.
Last July I also went through a battery of cardiology tests and visits with medical people who made sure I knew that being morbidly obese was a Bad Thing. Gee, I wonder why no one ever told me that before? Oh wait, they did. I just blocked it out.
It wasn’t until New Year’s that I decided to do something about it, but in a quiet way and not telling anyone in case I failed again. Nothing like starting with an optimistic mind set. But that’s when I decided to try Noom, and I found it remarkably easy to follow a plan and watch the weight fall off. Funny, I remembered that following a plan wasn’t ever really a problem if it was a good plan and I didn’t feel deprived. Noom was spectacularly successful.
But lately it hasn’t been. I did fine through the Covid Quarantine period and actually reached 55 lbs gone which made me super happy. But I’ve regained a few pounds and seem to just going up and down 2-3 lbs. That’s not terrible or surprising when I look at my food logs and see how differently I’m eating from January. I think I’m bored with what I’m eating, and I’m fatigued with Covid time and dealing with mask-no mask debates. I don’t like being hot and I live in Texas where it’s hot and muggy most of the time in July.
So I’ve asked my goal specialist to reset me to Noom Week 1, which I found the most motivating and supportive time. I made a commitment to read the articles, which I admit to have slacked off on – and I need to, because they really help if you read and DO the exercises.
Why do I want to continue losing weight? In no particular order:
- I feel better when I weigh less
- Be comfortable in my body
- Ease the stress on my knees and back
- Be able to walk for 2 miles without stopping to rest
- Buy pretty clothes in one size that I can wear year after year
- Go to the pool without being embarassed
- Be less self conscious about my body
- Increase flexibility and stamina
- Travel more comfortably, without needing a seatbelt extension