A 2020 Thanksgiving

I cancelled Thanksgiving plans with my brother and sister-in-law and will spend the day home alone (well, with the cats, but no people). They probably think I’m over-reacting but I’m just being cautious in this weird 2020 world of Covid. The news is full of stories about hospitals being overwhelmed by patients, with warnings from medical experts about the dangers of gathering in small groups indoors this year. Which most holiday gatherings are because it’s almost December and it’s too cold even in Texas to hang out outside for turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, and pie.

Far, far too many people are ignoring that advice to cancel Thanksgiving. It’s hard to undo tradition and the familiar habits of generations and we all miss our loved ones. But I’m afraid of seeing the hospitalizations and deaths increase through the roof after this. I have pre-existing conditions that make me vulnerable to Covid, so I don’t want to get it myself, but I really really don’t want to give it to someone else. Most people I know who had or have it warn us to NOT get it. So why are so many people walking around doing exactly what they want?

Some are because they’re tired of people telling them what to do. Covid fatigue is a long haul, especially in these days of 24/7 non-stop media and social media coverage of the pandemic. They’re tired of being told to wear a mask and that stores were closing and that they can’t travel to foreign countries because we’re banned from entry. They don’t want government pushing itself on them, not that I’ve actually noticed much of that happening from the feds, anyway.

A scary number don’t believe that Covid is real or can kill people, or at minimum will make a lot of people very sick in ways we won’t really understand for a long time. Some feel that they’ve lived their lives and if God takes them, it’s okay with them. It doesn’t seem that anyone NOT wearing a mask cares if they infect someone else; it’s just all about doing what they want.

If we all wore masks, kept our social distance, and stayed away from other people until there was a vaccine available and distributed, our lives would be different. I actually had a foreboding last winter that this wouldn’t go away quickly. But people aren’t going to pay attention to that. They will just show their independence, individuality, stubborness, and selfishness to do what they want. Which is why 50 million people are traveling for Thanksgiving. I expect the infection and death rates to soar by Christmas.

Me? I’m staying home with the cats. I’ll swap fall decorations for Christmas, eat pork roast instead of turkey, and watch Hallmark movies. I have a 4-day weekend when I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. Avoiding people on this big family and food holiday is how I’m spending this weird 2020 Thanksgiving. I suspect Christmas will be the same.

That said, I am thankful for my family and their understanding of my need to do this. For my beautiful ginger girls who bring joy and companionship every day. For my friends here and spread across the country, both ones I know in person and ones I met online and who have become close friends. For the strength and focus that allowed me to take weight off in a way that is healthy and sustainable. For a job that lets me serve, sometimes be creative, and learn new skills. For my health and for good doctors. For my home, cozy and now personal after last year’s renovation. For my life.

Thank you, God, for loving me and keeping me safe. Protect those I love and help us to make wise decisions in these extraordinary times.

To Boston and Back

Trinity Church, Copley Square, Boston

I flew to Boston last weekend for a special event that I anticipated for weeks. I left Boston in 2007 for a new job in New Haven, a whole 2.5 hours to the south, but rarely went back even though it was close. But I’d missed it. I missed the history, the bustle, the traditions, my church and the choir, the weather. And then I moved to Texas; quick visits weren’t possible anymore.

So I was super excited to get an invitation to go to a 25th wedding anniversary party for two special people, having sung at their wedding years before. The bride was a member of our choir, and her father described the wedding as a “concert accompanied by vows.” I knew there would be many other choir friends present, and I’ve missed that choir like my right arm. I had to go.

Saturday night was magical, seeing my happy friends and meeting their talented, creative children. Catching up with those I hadn’t seen in years as though that time was just a blink of an eye. As one friend said, “It was like, ‘Yes, that’s you, I had you on my heart all the time’.” I had spirited conversations with spouses I’d never met, gave and received hugs, shared wine and song and delicious food with wonderful dinner companions I haven’t seen in ages.

And there was music. How could there not be, given how important it is to the happy couple? The band was fun, playing Motown and standards, for dancing and for the caberet songs that seemed spontaneous but weren’t. It was like old times – and then they called the Trinity Kwah alums up to sing two pieces that we sang at the wedding 25 years before (“Rise Up My Love” by Healey Willan, and “Ubi Caritas” by Durufle). And for other occasions, to be sure – we all knew the music by heart and hadn’t rehearsed, but the sound knitted together seamlessly under the direction of our fearless director. It was Magic.

Trinity Church Reflected in the
John Hancock Building, Boston

Sunday I went to church at my former church, the gorgeous and historic Trinity Church at Copley Square. And I was disappointed. It was not realistic to think it would be the same but in my mind, I thought it would be all that and more. Congregational singing was minimal which made me crazy because music was such a huge part of my life in that place. But in a way, it’s good that I wasn’t blown away because then I would be even sadder to have left it behind.

After church, I lunched on Newbury Street with a law librarian friend, comparing notes about her new job, cats, and Irish genealogy among other topics. The afternoon was an adventure on the “hop on, hop off” trolley which has graduated to buses instead of trolleys. I’ve seen the inside of all the historic places and walked the Freedom Trail dozens of times. What I really wanted was just to ride around and see Boston without trying to drive in it, to see the changes post-Big Dig – and boy, there were many. So much construction everywhere! A little shopping after, a lobster roll for dinner, and early to bed before an early morning flight home.

What I hadn’t really understood was that traveling itself would be very hard. I hadn’t flown in almost 4 years and plane seats – and bathrooms! – have gotten a lot smaller. My body is not in good shape and I traveled with a folding cane to provide extra support and balance. Hiking through the airports was exhausting. Walking through the city was slow and lumbering. My sciatica was in full force with pain up and down my right leg. I couldn’t walk far or long without stopping, short of breath and hurting. I felt like a cow. And I was actually ashamed to see how hard a time I had getting around. I have things to work on before I can consider taking another trip but at least I know what they are.

Trinity Choir at Salisbury Cathedral

Taking the trip, taking the time and expense to travel back for something as frivolous as a party, was important. And it wasn’t frivolous at all to be there. Thank you, Carrie and Jon, for the invitation. Thank you, so many choir friends, for connecting and for sharing a few things that you remembered that shone crystal clear once you spoke of them. You matter. You all matter. What we did then mattered, and how we are connected now does, too.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

I’m in between trips and scrambling like mad not to fry in our current heat wave.  It was hot in Texas, but somehow it’s worse here which is just not right.  Thank heavens for AC!

The Texas trip was originally supposed to be to attend my nephew’s wedding, but it morphed into a family gathering at my brother’s ranch (140 acres in the middle of nowhere between my parents’ house and my brother’s place in Houston). They have very photogenic cows 🙂

My mom’s sister was there from California, nephew Rob from Massachusetts, and me from Connecticut.  Rob didn’t stay long, heading west to spend the weekend with his brother (the former groom) and friends going to a baseball game and country western concert.  My youngest niece ran a triathlon that weekend (I can’t imagine doing it in that Texas heat!) but my goddaughter (above) came from Lubbock for the weekend.  We celebrated our June/July birthdays together with carrot cake 🙂

Everyone flipped over my new look and I realized while I was there that I’ve almost lost my mother in terms of weight.  She weighs 115 lbs and I’ve lost 110 – which really is a whole person.  Puts things into very clear perspective.

I had a great time but was glad to come home (as was Tessie).  But I’ve been scrambling again because I leave on Friday for my national conference in Denver.  I have several meetings to facilitate so I have agendas and prep to finish, plus catch up on my paid job.

My conference wardrobe was all thought out, including a few dresses that looked good and were cool and comfy.  Except I’ve realized that all of them – ALL of them – are too big. Great problem but a bad time to figure it out, since the stores are starting to stock fall clothing (just after July 4th, go figure) and only have very picked over summer things.  I did get a few tops today that I can wear with black pants that will work.  I’ll find out soon enough.

I found it pretty easy to eat while in Texas.  My mom generously stocked up on some Greek yogurt, berries, chicken, and guacamole, and there were plenty of good options for me at the ranch.  Mostly people were interested in my choices and asked a lot of questions about the band and how it worked.  It was good practice for going out with more people; I’ve been reading menus for Denver and practicing restaurant eating, at least in my mind.  We’ll see how it goes!

I’ll try to check in from Denver but am not at all sure when I’ll have free time to write.  My time is pretty scripted.  But I’ll check in and at least keep up with y’all even if I can’t write until I’m back.  Stay out of trouble!

Snow for Winter

Today is the Winter Solstice, the first day of winter.  It’s not unusual for us to already have snow by now but honestly, Mother Nature, you outdid yourself this time.  My area only got about a foot of snow, though other places in the state ranged from 0-26″ — but at least we are prepared for snow here.  We know how to drive, we have adequate plows and sanders, people understand you go out and shovel as soon as the snow stops if not several times while it’s happening, just to get it gone ASAP to make for safer walking and driving.

The DC area, and my friends in Virginia (waves to Lori) took a wallop with this storm, which hit at such a terrible time for those shopping and/or traveling for the holidays.  Frances had her flight cancelled and rescheduled for today after a 3 hour wait on hold.  Thousands of travelers will end up stranded because, as we all know, snow and airport closures in one part of the country have a domino effect everywhere.

Last year it was my turn, spending 3 days to go from CT to TX after not one but two storms that came one day apart.  I told my family then that I loved them but that I wasn’t going to do that again this year.  I meant it, and I’m keeping my word – and happy to do so.   I love my family a lot but in these days of overcrowded stressed skies, why push it?

So I’m thrilled that this year I  have family up near me and I’ll have company for Christmas — my football-playing nephew who gets only Christmas Day off.  It’s his first time to not be with his family in Texas and I know he was homesick for family over Thanksgiving.  Weather permitting (and it’s definitely a factor in any plans), he’ll drive down on Christmas Eve after they finish team meetings and spend the night with me.  I have the inflatable bed and a tree and will be cooking him a home-cooked meal, even if I won’t be able to eat most of it.

It’s funny the things that people really miss and that make them feel at home.  We’re having a crockpot turkey breast, my mom’s sweet potato casserole with oranges, his mom’s cornbread dressing, and by request, green bean casserole.  He offered to help me make it so it would be easier, obviously not knowing it’s one of the world’s easiest dishes.  Dessert will be a pumpkin ice cream pie, also a kind of family tradition.  I’m also making a sour cream coffee cake for breakfast (his) and for him to take back with him to share with his roommate.  He couldn’t believe I knew how to make Grandma’s coffee cake, though I pointed out to him I’d been making it longer than he’s been alive.

What’s ironic is that I don’t think I’ll be able to eat much of anything.  I’m going to the doctor for a fill in my lapband today, which means a day or two of liquids only, followed by mushies, and only then by soft foods.  I’ve had some instances of stuck food or just the sensation of it, and frankly am not that interested in eating solid anything.  So the appointment comes at a good time to check in, make sure I know what I’m supposed to be doing instead of making something up out of a lack of direction.

I had a nice visit to NYC last week to spend part of a day with Our Frances.  We did our traditional visit to Chinatown for Qi Dong massages (omg, they are to die for if your body is tied in knots), followed by walking around and being lured into a backroom to check out knock off purses.  Honestly, what’s a trip to Chinatown without knock off purses?  We each bought one 🙂  Then it was on to Little Italy for lunch (a bowl of minestrone for me) and quick subway hop to the Union Square Christmas Fair.  I love going but a lot of the booths look the same now that I’ve been several times.  It’s still fun to be outside listening to Christmas music and being part of the crowds checking out the booths.

I hope you and yours are safe and warm today, not stranded by the side of the road in a snowbank or without power in frigid weather.  I hope you either can stay home or have safe passage on roads to get where you’re going.  Remember – it’s winter now!

Flu shots, travel, friends and protein powder

Did you get your flu shot?  Not the H1N1 version, the one for regular seasonal flu?  I got mine yesterday on campus after standing in line for about 3 minutes.  A simple verification that I’m not allergic to eggs and never had a bad reaction to a flu shot, a little stick, a round bandaid and I was on my way back to work.  Most of my colleagues have had their shots, those who aren’t home sick for days.  Now that our staffing levels are reduced, one person’s absence really makes more of a difference than ever before.  But I don’t want germy people who are feeling lousy to come into work and that includes me.  I do better work if I’m healthy coz my head doesn’t get all fuzzy.

I had a great trip to Chicago last weekend.  The flights were on time and even landed early.  We escaped the tornado watches/warnings.  The AALL work went extremely well; the committee members were in synch and pumped to select and schedule67 programs from 192 proposals for next year’s annual meeting.  You learn a lot about how and how not to write a successful proposal.  It’s amazing how much following directions makes a difference.

After the meetings, I spent the rest of my time with my best friend Phyllis and her family.  She’d moved to a new (to her) house and this was my first time to see it.  I”m a visual person and it helps enormously to be able to picture someone in a place – provides a context.   We went out to eat, played with the adorable shih-tzu puppies, checked out estate sales and did a little shopping – and talked and talked non-stop.  We haven’t seen each other in far too long and this visit was very needed.  Love you, Phyllis!

This weekend one of my errands is to visit the General Nutrition store to investigate samples of whey protein.  Although the expectation is that I will be eating real food as a lapbander (though not in the first two weeks post-op), many patients report using powdered protein in smoothies and to mix in with other foods like soup, pudding, and cottage cheese to boost the protein levels.  I’m to eat a minimum of 60 gm of protein per day and the more I eat, the more I’ll lose – except my hair, which would start to fall out if protein levels fall.

But I need to be able to eat it, not gag.  And obviously all protein powders are not created equal.  All I know is that whey protein is the way to go, and I want to figure out what I want to at least start with since I won’t be out driving around for a week or so post-op.  If you use protein powder yourself, let me know what you recommend.  I’ve heard good things about Unjury, Optimum, and Isopure – but haven’t tasted any of them yet, so what do I know?