Out on my own

I finished formal out patient PT on June 3rd. I’m sure I’ll be back, especially when it’s time to transfer over to a rollator, which isn’t as easy to use as you’d think after hanging on to using a folding walker for almost a year. But after 10 months of therapy, it’s oh so nice to not have to be somewhere at a set time three days a week to do things that I can mostly do on my own.

I use the NuStep 4-5 times a week for 30 minutes and am up to level 5 on resistance. It still takes a while to get on the machine but I can get off in under 3 minutes. I’m also using my weight bars to do arm exercises every day. I’m using a 2-lb bar which doesn’t seem like much until I do 3 sets of 20 of whatever it is and everything burns. I need to be doing standing leg exercises at the kitchen sink, which I will do when I finish this post.

Walking is a bit of a challenge. The person I hired to walk with me isn’t working out that well because of schedules, since she already works for a bunch of other people. I’m spending half a day walking around in the apartment using the walker, trying not to run into cats who are fascinated by Mommy standing up. I don’t want to not be walking in the hall but don’t really have anyone to do it with me, trailing behind with a wheelchair.

Frankly, I know I’m not going to fall. I know what that feels like and all I’ve felt when doing hall walking has been the need to sit down if I walk too far. So I’m thinking about going out in the hall by myself and walking up one apartment, turning around, and going back again. And then doing that several times during the day. If I’m tired, I can stand and rest, but these are short well marked distances and I do not think it’s going to be a problem. I might be stupid here, but I don’t think so. I know what I can do and what my limits are. And if I can go when I’m ready, I don’t need to plan it around someone else’s schedule.

I’m not really expecting to get much better. I could be wrong. But my research tells me that surgery doesn’t reverse severe spinal stenosis; the damage is already done. At least the surgery will stop me from getting worse. And if what I have now is what I’m going to have, well, I can deal with it. Whenever I’ve been challenged and had to add new daily living functions, I’ve been able to rise to the challenge and get it done. Things like laundry, bed changing, and showers. Yayyy for showers! I’m sure there are other things out there to add, or maybe it’s just getting more comfortable and confident with the things I can already do.

My home-health therapist told me at the end of March that I should be prepared to find myself in exactly the same functional place in 6 months as I was then. Nerves grow when and how they want; people don’t really know what to expect from them. I don’t think I’ve gained much since then except getting back to walking after a rough back pain patch. My out-patient therapist told me that my body remembered how to walk (which is an improvement, because 10 months ago it didn’t know anything) so it will be easier for me to get back to movement.

No matter what, I stand up a lot. I’m in the kitchen doing dishes, cooking, fixing meals, getting food for the cats. I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth, and standing in the bedroom to make my bed and get dressed. I do three-point turns from the wheelchair to the lift chair or the NuStep. I stand up to do laundry. All of these weight-bearing activities help keep the muscles strong and stop them from atrophying. I will NOT stop doing them, whether I’m walking in the hall or not. They have become normal, which is itself amazing. I don’t take them for granted, not after this past year.